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Am I a bad mother because I am having my child support lowered???

I don't have the job I had for 4 yrs, I dont make the same amount of money, I had to sacrafice so much to make sure I can pay what I was ordered to. well my pay is cut by more then half. I been looking for a second job for the last 6 months. NOTHING is turning out. My bf's father is a huge JERK.... he took my bf aside yesterday and said some things to him, one of which is that I am a bad mother and I have a hand out with the food stamps thing. Im sorry. If I didnt need the help to feed my son when he was here and myself, I wouldnt be on it!! what makes you so perfect? dont judge me. im making an effort, what more can I do. Im not a super hero.

I dont have my son, yes i pay child support. but at the moment it to much to type. its on several other posts I have that explains why he is not with me, and its NOT cause im unfit. I am just wondering who gave this man the right to judge me? what gives him the right to treat his son like he is the black sheep of the family?? I just dont understand.. from here on out I am not going to this mans house. I dont care. I dont want to keep him from seeing his future grand daughter, but if it comes to it, it wont happen till he can start treating me with some respect.. and not be a TWO FACED SOB!!!!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • If the judge approves it, then its a done deal. Maybe you can make it up to your son in other ways, besides financially.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • It's none of his business and he should keep out of it. Maybe he should try to walk in your shoes for awhile.

    How did your BF react? did he stand up for you? If so, good for him.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 4:29 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • thats all I want.... I want to be able to give him more of what he needs. clothes and some minor material things. It makes me so sad to have him come over and always say daddy took me to sea world, we went to Epcot, mommy daddy tok me to Disney World! its like Im happy they can do that, but I cant. letterally everything Im making right now goes to that man. I have been "warrented child support to be lowered" now just waiting on a judge or whom ever to say how much and when to show to sign the paper. I feel horrible I cant do more with him. but i know he loves me just the same.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:31 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Jade. Im not sure what the bf said, but his dad has him really angry right now, so im thinking he just nodded and said nothing cause he doesnt want to regret anything he would say.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:32 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • no, i think that anytime a significant change in salary happens it should change. that way someone can't be forced to pay when they lose a job or go out and get a job when they were just ordered to pay the mininum. we need a better way of fixing this problem.

    Answer by angevil53 at 5:07 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • You're not a bad mother. It's your choice

    Answer by kewi86 at 5:18 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • THAT IS TERRIBLE and i am hurt FOR you :(
    there is NOTHING wrong with needing help to provide for your family... my mother and our family have had ot have help for right at our entire lives! now that i am on my own, with my own family i am NOT ashamed to say that we have needed our own help. but NO that doesnt make you a bad mother. you have to be able to provide for yourself as well. you too have bills to pay. i think as long as you are doing what you can to help with your child... NO ONE has ANY right to say ANYTHING to you!! keep your head up!! things will turn around!

    Answer by MicheleB. at 10:24 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Your child is not going to remember how much money you spent on him or how much money you paid for his child support. If you are a good mom to him and for him in the way that really counts, that is what he will remember. Don't let other people make you feel bad about yourself. You are right, you aren't a super hero, but you can be one to your kid...and it isn't via money, so don't be so hard on yourself.

    Answer by TitusMom7 at 11:20 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

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