My step-grandmother and step-aunt have never bought me a Christmas or birthday present (Not even as a child-My dad married my step mom when I was 10, and I'm 35 now). I've never thought much of it, and I never buy for them, but my sister starting dating a man with children and I thought how weird would it be to NOT buy them a present. It's not really the present, it's the idea that it never occured to them.
I blew off Christmas at my Dad's this year, and I know it hurt my Dad's feelings but part of me thinks who care's? My Dad lives 20 minutes away and I have only seen him once in the last year. We talk on the phone about once a month. Every Christmas we go to his house and my dad, stepmom, step grandparents, and step aunt and uncle sit at the table for dinner- while my husband, me and the kids sit in the attached living room to eat. To top it off the grandmother brings two presents for the dogs to open every year, in front of my kids.
I sent my dad a text, saying sorry I didn't come (he sent a text saying he missed me) and to let him know he could come to my house for dinner this week and to just to let me know what his schedule looks like. He never texted me back and I refuse to call him.
Jeez, I'm 35 years old and having daddy issues. I feel like he just wants a family when it's convenient for him. Why doesn't he see that they act that way? Part of me thinks that I could try harder at the relationship, but then again this pattern was set up way before I was a grown up.
Thanks for listening. I would love to hear about other people's experiences with Steps. Maybe I'm expecting too much?
Asked by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Relationships
When I married my husband I already had a daughter from a previous marriage. One side of his family took her in and included her immediately. The other side of his family pretty much ignored her until after we had children together; thankfully they included her in gifting when they started buying gifts for my younger children. My daughter never seemed to be upset by it, but as her mother it broke my heart; I was always very hurt for her. If I ever have step anything, especially children/grandchildren, I will definitely do whatever I can to make them feel welcome and part of the family.
I suspect that as a mother it is hurting you more now that you are seeing your own children snubbed than it did to have that happen to yourself. Hugs!
Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 6:18 PM on Dec. 28, 2010
Answer by genagina at 6:09 PM on Dec. 28, 2010
Answer by gemgem at 6:13 PM on Dec. 28, 2010
Answer by Andriya at 6:16 PM on Dec. 28, 2010
Answer by cheekycherub at 6:10 PM on Dec. 28, 2010
Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:15 PM on Dec. 28, 2010
Answer by Logan17000 at 7:28 PM on Dec. 28, 2010
Answer by Ross2010 at 10:43 PM on Dec. 28, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Dec. 28, 2010
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