Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Thanksgiving with or without the inlaws?

A couple of days ago, my husband jokingly said that he didn't care if we went to any of our family dinners this Thanksgiving. He'd rather stay home and have our own Thanksgiving dinner, just us and the kids. I know my mom would never let me forget it until the day one of us died, and his family probably wouldn't be too happy either. We live 45 minutes away and don't see them much, but then again, that's why we moved here! What do you think: grin and bear it or go it alone one time?


Asked by 2boysmom703 at 1:50 PM on Nov. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • While you might not feel like making a 45 minute trip to spend the day with your family, you have to remember that you are teaching your children that it's okay not to come to your house for the holidays when they grown up. Are you prepared for that? Both my husband's and my parents are gone...I'd give anything to be able to drive 45 minutes to see them...or 45 HOURS.

    Answer by companygoddess at 3:34 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Grin and bear you moved away from them..but be thankful that you have family! :)

    Answer by Dannee at 1:57 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I agree with first poster.. family is important.. go have fun!

    Answer by anestheticsex at 1:59 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • This is a tough one, hopefully you can clear it up soon! The more warning you give everyone, the better. My family is very understanding about this stuff, but my husband's is a little less forgiving. They don't say much, but I think they "remember" it. Last year, we hosted my parents, as everyone else had something going on.

    If you have the space, maybe you could try to host this year. The nice thing about having your parents come to you is that they tend to worry that you can't handle it, so they bring a lot of food and help out a lot.

    Otherwise, I guess you just have to decide what's more important: having a relaxing holiday at home, or giving your parents something to gripe about. Good luck, it's a TOUGH decision!

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 2:05 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • are you sure i didnt write this post?? lol. seriously do what you think you need to do. If you do want to stay home, be honest with them. It is your holiday too, not just your mothers or his. They get so wrapped up in the holidays they dont realize what we have to go through to get everywhere.

    Answer by bubblebean at 2:06 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • That's what we are doing this yr an dmy fam is 7 blocks away.

    We came to the agreement between my husband and I because we just could not take being around our families any more.

    We're Christian and they really make fun of, and devalue us but it's more then just that.

    My 2 yr old son says please and thank you after everything (we didn't teacj him this we just say it all the time so he does to) and my older (one of 3 older siblings) call my son a F@g (sorry but that's what he says) because he says please and thank you. Amongst many other things so we decieded that unless ppl. learn how to act, we wont' be a part of their issues and mess.

    But that's us we will end the cycle of trama in our lives.

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 2:12 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Oh I did tell my mom whom I thought would flip and she said "Good for you, I wish I could make them all go away" because every holiday there is bickering and senceless areguments and name calling etc... they are hard to be around and we've grined and beared it for years so finally we've decieded to try soemthing else. Maybe they'll get the hint and change.

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 2:18 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • you know i cant wait til im out of my boyfriends moms house and we can have our own family holidays i mean yes my parents and his will be welcomed to join us but i cant wait til im the one cooking and there wont be a bunch of people bugging us to come here with the baby and go there we can simply say if they wanna see us their welcome to join us at our house..

    Answer by lovencasper5307 at 2:46 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • My in-laws are 2 miles away - my family 15 miles away... When my son turned 4 we started camping every year for thanksgiving - we invite everyone to join us - if they don't come that is cool and they know not to expect us every year. 1st year some feeling were hurt, everyone got over it and now everyone that wants to join us does. We see everyone at Christmas - and for thanksgiving we relax and don't worry about anything - so my point is - if you see your family regularly - it is your right to choose to have a quiet at home holiday if you want


    Answer by AndreaRUJuiced at 3:51 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I guess my motto is that I don't spend special events with people I don't like- this includes my inlaws. My DH and I generally go it alone for Thanksgiving. We enjoy just getting to hang out and veg all day with eachother. In our busy life's, it's nice to have one day that we don't have to deal with any bs, esp from bad relatives.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Nov. 10, 2008