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3 Bumps

Will he say this when the baby is here too?

I'm 34 weeks pregnant with my first child. My SO and I moved into a house over a year ago. It is technically his house. He pays the mortgage and I pay the utilities and cable, internet, phone all that. Well whenever my SO and I fight, he tells me to leave. I think he says it because he knows it's really the only thing that really upsets me. It makes me feel so helpless and scared of being a single mom. What happens when the baby is here? Is he still going to tell me to leave? We have been together for over 2 1/2 years and our relationship has been good other than these arguments we get into sometimes. After we make up he always tells me he didn't mean it, but it still makes me question mine and our baby's well-being and stability. Any advice??

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Kelli1012

Asked by Kelli1012 at 6:49 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,591 Credits)
Answers (29)
  • Put some money up for a rainy day if you are concern.
    nicjon

    Answer by nicjon at 6:51 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I would say he's probably not going to change. He will hold that above your head. Hopefully this won't happen.
    genagina

    Answer by genagina at 6:51 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Hmmm....how long have you been married, did you get the house while you were together??? I would say you OWN the house if it ever comes down to it, especially after the baby gets here and he will be buying it for you.
    luvmy4kidsinAL

    Answer by luvmy4kidsinAL at 6:53 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Things don't usually get better after the baby comes because there is more stress and less sleep on everyone's part. He has to decide if your a family or not, if your a family he has to stop holding the mortgage over your head. I hope you are putting money away for yourself in a ROTH account or something. Good relationship or not he has the financial stability of a house and the equity in it. You don't build financial security by paying the utilities. Good Luck.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:56 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Please go down to the court house or your local social services office and get yourself declared custodial parent. I had this problem with my SO and now I am the only custodial parent. Its hard when he tries to throw you he has to evict you because the longer you stay there you start to develop what they call squatters rights look it up but take care of yourself and your little one I had to move to stop him from trying to throw me out every week or he was locking me out. Sit down and figure out how you are going to work that out so you both feel safe. GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:58 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Id honestly refuse to pay anything until he stops acting like it's just his home. Take that money and put it away in an account he doesn't knonw about
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 7:01 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • yeah he is not going to change put some $$$ aside. and one of these days call his bluff.....go and pack up your stuff. He will have to pay you child support. When he realizes you are really leaving he will say he is sorry tell him that you do not want to hear that crap come out of his mouth again....because he may just end up saying 1 too many times and by then it will be too late.
    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 7:03 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Wow, what a jerk. I don't care who owns the house. No one should ever mention splitting up just because they are mad--unless they truly mean it.
    My father used to have a live in girlfriend. Whenever they argued, he would tell her "There are three doors to this house, you are welcome to leave through any one of them." One day he said that and she did. She got tired of him constantly telling her that.
    I would start putting money aside and let him know you are doing it. Let him know that one of these days when he tells you to leave, you just might. Hopefully, once he knows that his emotional blackmail (and that's exactly what it is and it's borderline emotional abuse) is not working, he'll grow up and stop.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:03 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Id look into the cost of a lawyer in the area and put money away just in case. When you have a child and there is no custody agreement in place then both parents have equal rights to the child and he could kick you out and keep the baby there. I dont think he would since you say he always makes up with you, but MAYBE if you bring up wanting something in writing because of the threats he will shut his pie hole and realize this is not fun and games, you are bringing a helpless baby into the world and he should grow up and stop fighting with you. You are pregnant after all.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 7:03 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Getting this custodial parent sounds like a good move.

    You can threaten not to pay all of the utilities.

    I think he is going to get worse. This is a major control move. You should start looking for a job in my opinion and gain some independence and definitely start your own savings account.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 7:03 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

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