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step son

My husband and I have been married for about a year, his 15 year old son got into a fight at school on wednesday, they have been on break since and dont go back to school until the third of Jan. He got suspension for 3 days because of the fight, the school called wednesday and I was the only one home, so I picked him up from school and drove him home. He begged and begged me not to tell his dad. So far I havent I feel guilty, my husband leaves before my son goes to school and gets home much later, I could get away with not telling my husband and he would never find out. My step son still hasnt warmed up to me and well he hates me, and it kills me I feel this would help our realtionship tremoundously. Since im 22 and my husbands sons are 15 and 19 they look at me like a peer not an authoratative figure. I hate it, but I want to build on our realtionship, what should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by tiffee88baby at 7:50 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I'd tell the boy I will not tell dad but YOU (him) have to. He has to grow up. It's his responsibility to tell dad. If dad finds out somehow then you will be blamed for it all. Make him responsible for his own actions.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:53 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • p.s. my son is older than his stepmother and he walks all over her and takes advantage of her like your ss is trying to do. My son has never respected her and never will. Don't think that covering for him will make it better between you two. You are the adult. Make sure you draw that line. You are not his friend, you are his step mother.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:54 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I don't think keeping this from your husband is the way to gain your step sons respect or how to make him like you. If you keep one secret how many more are you going to keep? This will just show your stepson that he can manipulate you to get his way and to maybe make him like you, and then what happens when the truth does come out and they are both angry with you? I have a step daughter myself, and our biggest problem is her biological mother. My step daughter and I have a great relationship, but she knows there are NO secrets between her father and I. If something comes up, I help keep the peace, but we do not keep secrets.

    Answer by BlueEyedMama727 at 8:08 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • don't try to be his friend or his parent- because you are just an adult in his life, don't let him walk all over you- tell him to tell his dad, it's not your fault he screwed up, and if you keep this secret your ss is going to walk all over you- if you husband finds out later you kept this from him it's gonna mess with your relationship... good luck, step parenting is hard.

    Answer by lovemylilman06 at 8:13 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • The parents need to know and they have the right to know. You are not their parent and you don't have the right to choose what is best for him. The only thing now is that you are gonna have to explain to you hubby why it took you so long to tell him. This was a serious breach in trust in you marriage.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 12:22 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • So, if parents are divorced and the school calls the mother with the same kind of situation, she has a legal obligation to let the father know, So what, do you think you are above the parents? Do you know that if they boys mother finds out about this, he could be in trouble for not letting her know about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • You make him tell his father. this is a situation that his dad needs to know about and it is his responsibility, not yours.

    Answer by parajumper3 at 3:57 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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