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I need help with creative ideas for disciplining my 16 yr old son.

My oldest son is my most responsible child. He is the one who always does good in school, has lots of friends that look up to him, and has teachers and other adults who use him as an example for other students. We have always tried to teach our children that they are strong people and can make their own decisions on most things. I allowed Levi to go to one of his good friends house, whom we are also good friends with the parents, and to make a long story short, another friend was there also, they lied to my friend and took off to the other boys house. In the mean time the 3rd boy smoked pot and they all 3 stole the other moms car. Levi was brought home by a state trooper at 1:30 am. The trooper stated that he has 3 years to press charges, but that since they were good kids he was releasing them to their parents. He has commited a felony and I have no idea how to discipline him without alienating him. He knows there are consequences to his actions, but I have no idea where to start. he is not the child I would have expected this from.

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BlueEyedMama727

Asked by BlueEyedMama727 at 7:59 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • That is a difficult one. Taking away priveleges, cell phone, computer, car, etc for a month...only use is for school. Have him do volunteer work. Talk to him about the dangers of drugs...pot is a gateway drug that can and does lead to bigger drugs..worse drugs.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:03 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Every kids screws up. Well first stop him from going to that boys house any more for starts. Thats what I would do. Tell him you will be watching every thing he does from now on and checking up on everything he does. To make sure he is doing everthing he says he is doing. You doing all that will probably be punishment enough. No privacy is tough on kids.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:04 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Make him volunteer in the community for however many hours (I say 50) that way he is giving back to the community and still being punished- plus it looks good on college applications
    lovemylilman06

    Answer by lovemylilman06 at 8:05 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I think that learning experience was a valuable lesson. I believe it's punishment enough to face his parents with a State Trooper behind him. Did the trooper get his point across? I guess time will tell. When my son did something similar I didn't do anything more than tell him how much he embarrassed and disappointed me. That's all it took. He never acted up again. We all make mistakes. He sounds like he might be responsible enough to not repeat himself. Ask him if you can trust him again? If he hesitates then perhaps ground him but I wouldn't be too hard since the consequences are pretty high if he screws up again legally. Just make sure he understands that.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:05 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I agree with admckenzie..If he's really a good kid then I'm sure that scared the crud of him..Would have me. We live and we learn..Lets hope he learned, right?

    bizima4

    Answer by bizima4 at 8:11 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I would talk to him, he obviously knows that he can get into huge trouble with the police. Make sure you just let him know you love him and in my opinion, having a policeman bring him home is punishment enough. This is the the kinda stuff that parents go overboard on and it does completely alienate kids. You want him to know that next time he should call you, that you will always be there for him no matter what.
    parajumper3

    Answer by parajumper3 at 3:55 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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