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2 Bumps

My DD has told us that she is a lesbian. As of to date, all of the girls that she has dated has lied, cheated, or been verbally abusive to her. How do I keep myself out of this?

My DD is 19 and still lives at home. She is still dating on of the girls that we suspect has lied and cheated on her. "Jane" was living with us for about 2 1/2 months before she moved back home to Ohio. DD is finding out that "Jane" is spending time with her ex-girlfriend and DD is saying that it is only as a friend. You know that is probably not true. So many things have come up that are not adding up and I can see that my DD is going to be devastated. I want to call her up and chew her out sooooo bad! I know that I need to stay out of it but how can I just let my DD suffer once again?

Answer Question
 
guyandtoni01

Asked by guyandtoni01 at 9:17 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 12 (698 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • the same way you would if guys were being that way
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 9:18 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • What does being a lesbian have to do with this? A guy can do the same thing.

    Stay out of it. It is her life. If you DD is blind, then you saying something will not change her attitude about it. A person will only see when they are ready to see. Just the same with any person in an abusive relationship...they will stay until they have had enough, no matter how many people tell them to leave.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:20 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I guess you have to figure out a way to talk to her and then just be there for her. My daughter was involved with the break up get back together drama and I had enough of it. I told her after the last time I am not the shoulder to cry on. I just couldn't deal with it any more.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:21 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • The reason I made a point of her being lesbian is that the drama with boys is so much less. The girls tend to have way more drama in their lives and when you have two or more, that makes it so much worse... :( I just worry about my DD as she has such a big heart and she is so trusting and naive.
    guyandtoni01

    Comment by guyandtoni01 (original poster) at 9:26 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Sounds like the same issues that you get with guys...

    Just be there for her and realise that dating is a way of figuring out what works and what doesn't and what you will tolerate and what you won't. eventually she will find someone wonderful :)
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:35 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Maybe take her to a few of the rainbow events in your area and let her see that just because she is gay does not mean she deserves to be treated that way. To many young gay people fall into the trap that this kind of drama goes with being gay because they just do not know a lot of other gay people. If you get her involved in the community maybe she can see that their are great couples out there that are gay and that she deserves to be part of a great couple.

    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 9:56 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • It is very difficult to be supportive and stay out of it at the same time but that is what you have to do. Make sure she knows you love her and you are there for her regardless.
    PA-PAGrandma

    Answer by PA-PAGrandma at 9:57 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Lol..beleive me the Drama with a man is NOT MUCH LESS. its about the same. being a lesbian hasnothing to do with it.

    I would just support her decision. tell her you don't think her girlfriend is being honest with her but you support her decisions as a grown up. and stay out of it after that. Every young persons goes threw this.

    Like they say you gotta kiss alotta toads to find ur prince..and in this case. Princess. Good luck
    SweetPoison

    Answer by SweetPoison at 10:32 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • She'll eventually find someone. All you can really do is tell HER your concerns and be there for her. Don't pressure her or anything, just tell her that you think something is up and tell her what you would do if it was your situation.
    Mrs.BAT

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 10:41 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Honestly, if she dated boys there's just as much drama sometimes. MANY 19-20yo guys are players, they lie, they date 2-3girlsat a time, etc.. It's NOT a "lesbian thing".
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

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