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4 Bumps

not happy

i try so hard to go one day without arguing with my husband.. one day.. but it is impossible. unless i am just NOT AROUND him. he is so double standard with everything, he blames EVERYTHING on someone else. and he always has a hateful tone. i try to ignore it but i cant.. it takes all I have not to wish a big SLAP in the face for him especially on things that i have asked him NOT to do and he does and then says oh well i forgot.. like dont speak hatefully toward me in front of my children, and dont speak hateful toward our children. its soo annoying and i just simply am not happy with him.


Asked by Ross2010 at 10:04 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • We have been married 23 1/2 years and together 25. On our wedding day a older woman told us that the secret to staying married was staying through the bad times as well as the good. At the time it didn't seem so profound but now I see she was right. My husband and I have been through the good and the bad. Hang on sweetie.get through the bad times.


    Answer by rosetoes at 10:10 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • If you are committed to sticking this out, you really can turn this around but it's going to take work, discipline, and self control on your part. You will have to remind yourself that your husband is stressed and/or depressed and not take his tone or attitude personally. He is not happy. It has nothing to do with you. Focus on loving your children, tending to your home (notice home, not house, make your home a loving refuge for the whole family), and care and love your husband with gentleness and sincerity. If you are consistent with your positive behavior and changes then he will follow your lead. It will just take patience. If your change isn't consistent or sincere, then it won't be enough to motivate him out of his funk. Finally, stop arguing. Most fights aren't worth it any way. Unless it has to do with something important like finances or kids' safety, just bite your tongue and keep the peace for the kids' sake.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 10:35 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I think maybe you should talk to your husband about not being happy with him anymore and see where that goes.

    Answer by Misteh at 10:07 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I am not happy either...We don't really argue but he just annoys me. He thinks he is always right and I feel like we just run in circles!!! the kids even think he is the boss becauseof how he acts and I tellhim that and he thinks its just me....I am not sure what to sayyour situation sounds similiar to mine. We are trying to make it work but I kinda just want to give uo and feel that may be more peaceful....BLAH

    Answer by hill2 at 10:08 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • hi..i think you need to talk to him heart to heart

    Answer by neng999 at 10:52 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I have been married to my hubby for 25 years and lately his tone always sounds hateful but I overlook it because I know the reason behind it. Sometimes it does get next to me. Again, I know the reason ... he is in constant pain and that is going to make you ill and hateful. Have you asked him what's wrong? Is he having problems at work? Unfortunately, crap that happens at work, comes home with you.

    Bottom line, you need to communicate because something is obviously bothering him. Just talk to him.

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 10:54 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Do u think he might have met another woman?? I have seen some men try and push the woman they are with by being hateful or argumentive
    in hope that she will leave and that way, or the way he like to think, and he will not feel guilty., After all she left first" sort of reasoning. And do not "keep the peace" for the kids sake, cause I can guarantee u the kids already know whats going on. I do not know why parents seem to think the kids are clueless about their parents state of mind. And if u love your hubby, fight for him. If u think u finally just want to air everythjing out, send the kids to a friends or their grandparents a movie whatever and have it out, not physically though. Sometimes it takes a night of just yelling arguing whatever to get to the bottom of things. Then have really GREAT make up sex!!!

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 10:59 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Has he always been this way? He sounds belittling and disrespectful. Frankly, I'd tell you to just leave him but that's the unpopular opinion. Have you tried counseling? There are classes to learn how to argue effectively too. Have you ever just lost it with him, moved out for a week? Might take some serious action to straighten his butt out. GL.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I hear that. He needs to be respectful

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:07 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • Let him know how you feel and start creating a plan for yourself sit down and write out what you want for your future. Maybe you need to pinpoint what will make your life better and do it. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:12 PM on Dec. 28, 2010