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4 Bumps

My Father...My Husband

My father had a stroke in August and my mother needed me to help with him so I took leave from my job and flew to where they live, my husband came too for 2 weeks I stayed until October, my parents want us to move there with them they have a very big house...well my father recently had another stroke, and when we were there before we had talked about moving there in February or March ,now they want me to come asap, my mother is in her 70's and father in his 80's, I want to go I know they need me, my husband says I know nothing of being married because i want to go ahead and move down and get a job and help my parents...am I wrong I mean I don't know how much longer I'll have them, I love my husband I'm torn..any help is appreciated!

Answer Question
 
StressedOut107

Asked by StressedOut107 at 10:55 PM on Dec. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (312 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • you need to be there for your parents too.. and your husband needs to understand that.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 11:01 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • IMO they're your parents who gave you life, supported you and made you who you are today. Its only temporary. I would go and help my parents. Your husband should understand.
    MLM0503

    Answer by MLM0503 at 11:01 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • You should take care of your family sometimes when you have two people who need you its best to sit down and tell him they need you as well as him and you know what has to be done. God bless you and your family your a good woman to be concerned about all of them.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:02 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • This is a very difficult situation. I don't think you're wrong, but I don't think your husband is wrong either. How long will you be away from him, is he expected to find a job there as well. It doesn't matter how big the house is, he may not feel comfortable living with your parents. I know I wouldn't want to live with someone else in their house. I understand your feelings about your parents, you're a good loving daughter, and I understand your husbands feelings as well. This is something that you need to talk about and work out together. Where are his parents? How old are they? and are they in good health? There are a lot of questions that affect the decision you're talking about.

    Good luck. I hope you are able to find a good solution.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:53 PM on Dec. 28, 2010

  • I agree 100% with ohwrite, this isn't something that can be decided by DH or by you, but something that the two of you need to sit down and decide together. I can totally understand where both of you are coming from and neither one of you is wrong, you two need to make this decision together or one of you will end up resenting the other which could potentially ruin a marriage. I am sorry to hear about your parents declining health.
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 12:47 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • It's a tough situation. Do your parents have anyone else there who can help? How much will it disturb what you're doing where you are now if you and your family move to your parent's house?
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 3:40 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Me personally I will hv to help my parents...da hubby must b understandin if not oh well i bet he will lk out for his parents unless he hv a cold heart...
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 9:24 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • My dh and I both understand that we are close to our families (we're both a little closer to mine than his) and if they needed us we would be there! I would stand beside my dh if this situation arose and he would me! My first instinct is to think that your dh isn't close to his family and would most likely let someone else or a nursing home manage his loved one's care. Only you can decide which way to go. I would definitely stick by my parents. My parents live close though, and we wouldn't have to move. So it's a little easier for me to say that. You should do what you feel is right, other than this issue, how is your marriage?
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:30 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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