Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Frustrating marital question

My husband does things wrong from time to time and I get angry and argue with him about it and then he stops for like a month afterwards goes back to the same thing...then I get angry again my problem is when I get pissed I look at him and he is genuinly sorry so I feel guilty for ever being angry with him! Like he is always the victum or something and everything I get angry about was nothing to start with augh! Do you bring up every problem bothering you with your spouse or only the GIANT ones?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Nov. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • We try our best to talk about any and everything. If something bothers one of us we discuss it and try our best to settle it. In my last marriage my X and I did not always do that, and all it did was build resentment. I have learned alot from my first marriage and old dirt just builds mountains of resentment.

    Answer by Dannee at 3:01 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I used to bring up everything from peeing on the toilet to not taking the trash out. Then I realized all we did was argue and my bickering didn't change anything nor did it make him change any quicker.

    I decieded that for my sake to not sweet all the silly little things (and there are many of those moments). I now keep those Clorox disinfecting towelets (or what ever the are called) by the toilet, I take out the trash because it's really not that big of a deal, etc...

    You kno what that has done for us? we agrue almost never now and best of all he's really gone far and beyond to help me. Because the trueth is he doesn't want me to take out the trash so before I can do it he rushes to do it and he uses the wipes on the toilet to clean his messes up. Doesn't mean he's perfect 100% of the time but we're so much happier. Good Luck


    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 3:02 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • sweet was supposed to be sweat, so

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 3:04 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • If it's a problem for you, it should be a problem for him and vice versa. I think a lot of the arguments start because of the way we say things and not so much due to what was said. If you start sentences with "It bothers me when..." rather than "You are always doing....", it often makes a difference in how the comments are received. They may still ruffle feathers, but they are not as likely to start a big fight.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:26 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • If I ask my husband to do something he will do it. If I ask anyone in the house to do something for me then I must expect them to do it their way not mine. So the little things in this house go by without a problem. They are little things and I don't let them bother me. I used to a long time ago when newly married but it just isn't important. I do things that would annoy him I'm sure as well, men just don't think the same way women do and so long as I know my DH isn't doing anything to purposely hurt myself or any of the kids, I don't care. I let him do things his way.

    Answer by yw8t4life at 3:53 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • When it comes down to things that annoy me about my husband I've come to ask myself how it should be categorized. If it truly is Big Stuff, then I'll bring it up once or twice but after that there's no point because if it was going to change it would have happened by now. If it's Little Stuff I'll just accept it as a character flaw on his part and love him anyway even if he doesn't always make me happy.

    Nobody's perfect. I still constantly find snack wrappers on the end tables in my living room. Is my marriage going to come to a screeching halt because I'm tired of cleaning up snack wrappers? No, because I know when it's 20 degrees outside and I'm cold and sick someday, he's going to trek out in the snow and pick me up some medicine and hot cocoa to make me feel better and to me that's worth a few snack wrappers here and there.

    Answer by sillyt at 4:56 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Everyone I can be a real bitch when i'm angry

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 6:48 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.