Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

do i let him try it out?

ok well... my oldest son Nathaniel wants to go live with his dad. who might i add comes in and out of his life. well Nathaniel just started going to see him again and when he comes home he cries for is dad and tells me he don't want to live with me but with his dad. :( He said i am mean cause i tell him to do things but i just think he needs to help a little around the house like clean up after himself....and when he is at his dads they have fun playing video games. Why cant i be the cool parent ? Please i need advice.. on how to deal with this..am i a bad mommy?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:31 AM on Dec. 29, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (11)
  • Sounds like he sees daddy as cool. I would go with my feeling on this one. My cousin did this to my aunt I don't know how many times and finally when she was 14 my aunt told her to go ahead. She hated it. She realized that just because daddy was cool and didnt punish her (he only saw her every other weekend) that she would be happier with him. Once she lived there for a month and realized that her dad made her follow rules she moved back in with my aunt.
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 12:38 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • It is just so hard for me . I know how is dad is and i just hate when my son gets hurt :( ...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:42 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • The grass is always greener. Often, when a parent only has a kid for a short time, they can get away with murder, because the parent wants to make the short time they have together fun. When they have to deal with the day to day stuff, however, it's a different story. It might be something to discuss with your son's father, and see if he'd be willing to give it a go. It might be worth a shot, and your son may come crying back to you before you know it. Or his dad may let him play video games all day instead of doing his homework, and the other things he needs to do. Discuss it ahead of time if you're willing to try it out. Good luck!
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 3:31 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • You are the parent and the father is an on again off again friend. Your son needs a parent not a friend. It is hard but that is your job. Do it.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 3:48 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I wouldn't let him "try it out" he is only 5.
    He needs a parent (you) and his father is trying to be a friend.
    You need to teach your son to pick up after himself. brush his own teeth, wash his body, eventually do his own laundry, vacuum, wash dishes etc etc these are life skills. Playing all day while fun is not a life skill that will help him when he is an adult.
    good luck
    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 8:45 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I wouldn't. It doesn't sound like he'll learn how to be responsible if he lives with dad.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:46 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Dad is cool. I don't know, ido you want dad 'responsible" for the life of your son?
    DancerMomof2

    Answer by DancerMomof2 at 12:14 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • So many times this happens because kids are thinking the grass is greener on the other side. It is up to you if you want to do that, but know that he may very well want to come back once the new and the fun wears off at dad's house.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 5:49 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Thank you mommies for your advice :)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:47 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I think dad would be stricter if he had him full time but why should he ruin his fun with his son unless he has too?
    Iamasinglemom99

    Answer by Iamasinglemom99 at 8:52 PM on Jan. 2, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in School-Age Kids (5-8)
All day kindergarten

Next question overall (About CafeMom)
bashing

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN