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2 Bumps

Husband chheated

I found out my husband cheated on me with his first wife when I was expecting our 3rd child. I want to make it work and it has gotten some what better but I wanted to no if anyone has advice on how to make this work. Oh ya and her baby could be his. Please help. Only good advice I am and emotional mess just had a baby found this out and my brother died in a car accident.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on Dec. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I'm not sure how to help you, but I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Sorry about the loss of your brother. I think now would be a good time for you to talk to a counselor, or if you belong to a church, your pastor.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:31 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I know its easier said than done, but get rid of him.. any man who is willing to cheat on his wife, let alone his PREGNANT wife deserves to have his shit thrown on the curb!!
    FITmama2B

    Answer by FITmama2B at 1:35 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • you both need to see a marriage counselor
    mom2eas

    Answer by mom2eas at 1:47 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I wish I could tell you something good just try to do your best with yourself & kids and get rid of him he is only weighing you down.
    I am sorry to hear about your loss May God give you strength in every way GL.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 1:53 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Pray.... Pray.... Pray. I know I will be praying for you. Cry out to Jesus and our Blessed Mother. I know I have gone through the ringer and that's what helped me get through. As far as your marriage, sometimes patience and time will heal. Learn to forgive because not forgiving only hurts you most. Through forgiving others, our soul is healed and we are able to move on. As for your loss, my condolences to you and your family. I can also promise that the weight of what he's done is far heavier than the weight of your hurt. That's the good news :) It's definately not easy, trust me...I know but it is the best for you and your children. They will see the strength in their mother through their father's weakness and be blessed with the witness of the awsome powers of prayer and forgiveness. Remember forgiving him is for you... not him. I wish you all the best. I will keep you and your brother and your grieving family in our prayers
    BlessingsB4Me

    Answer by BlessingsB4Me at 2:47 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • If it hasn't worked for you in the past, don't bother with it [praying]. Wanna know what will work? Sit down and talk to him and hash it out that way. No raised voices or anything. Talking things through will help and it normally does the trick. Praying is just waiting for something to happen; be proactive.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 3:17 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Ouch that must sting. I'm sorry you're going through this. If it were me, I think I'd get rid of him.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:51 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Im sorry to hear that. I know that you want to work things out but is it really worth the pain. I think for your own insanity you need to get professional help. Dont worry about him just worry about yourself.
    beenie21

    Answer by beenie21 at 5:26 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Here's what I have learned from my personal experience from when my husband cheated many years ago, and through the experiences of others.

    A marriage has to be completely and totally rebuilt after infidelity. Without that, the basic foundations of a marriage will never be strong again. Trust and respect are basic foundations for any marriage. Infidelity destroys those basic foundations. No foundation, equals unstable building..right.. So without rebuilding those basic foundations a marriage will not ever be stable again really. Also, in this process of reconciling and rebuilding. The Cheater must PROVE that they not only want a 2nd chance but that they are worthy of one. They must work and PROVE themselves, prove that their marriage is truly what they want and they are willing to give their all to work towards rebuilding that marriage. Without this, a try at reconciling is half hearted at best.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:39 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • He'll be out so damn fast he's head would be spinning. He had unprotected sex with his ex wife while you were carrying you're third child. Meaning he didnt give a rats ass if he caught something from that tramp and gave it to you. yeah... I would be throwing his shit out and changing the locks.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:41 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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