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3 Bumps

Feeling like a failure

I'm a mom of 2 boys (2.5yrs and 6mo) I feel like i get over-stressed with my toddler. I have very little energy, I'm tired all the time. I hate cleaning (my husband is a neat freak) and I have little to no sex drive. I feel like I'm failing at everything, like I'm disappointing my husband. He's never said this so don't jump to that conclusion. He's very supporting and very loving and it breaks my heart to even think I might be disappointing him. I hate feeling like a bad mom when my toddler acts up and I lose it and yell at him instead of just telling him the behavior isn't acceptable and put him in a short time-out.

I guess I just want to know I'm not alone out there.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:26 AM on Dec. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (15)
  • You are definitely not alone. But you have to find something for yourself. This will help in all aspects of your life.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 3:28 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • yes tru
    hrtbr8kr8

    Answer by hrtbr8kr8 at 3:30 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • It sound that you need to go to your Doctor and let him(her) know what is going on with you, or how you been feeling. They probably would help. It could be that you had stress postpartum, you know, having two little ones so small, it could be that's what you have. I know I was like you at one point, my oldest two kids are exactly 24 months, and in certain point I was feeling like that. I just sit with my husband and talk to him about how I was feeling and he help me a lot. I let him know that I was so tired that I was needing his help with the kids and he did. So maybe you can talk to him and maybe he help you. I hope you feel better soon.
    Amyelitza69

    Answer by Amyelitza69 at 3:33 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • don't say that you are not a failure... no mother is all we can do is try... but as for right now the best thing you can do is talk to someone that you can vent out to like a dr... it's not a bad thing and it my help you in the long run.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 3:42 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I agree with everyone else. #1 you are NOT a failure. If that makes you a failure, then I think all of us have failed as well. I know I have been in the exact situation you are describing. And I felt the same way as well, like a failure. Coming here and speaking up is definitely a step in the right direction. I think that's one thing I needed most was the company and conversation with other moms who could let me know I was not alone, and neither are you! #2 You may want to talk to your Doctor, in case it is more serious. Postpardom depresion can be a VERY serious thing and if you don't get the proper help it will only get worse. You owe it to yourself, your hubby and your children to seek help, and know that there are LOTS of Moms here to help as we can as well. :)
    kc71595

    Answer by kc71595 at 4:03 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • so awesome, he's never said those words. has he said the opposite though?....because that may help a bit. I yell at my toddler a couple times a week but I know for fact I am a great mom especially compared to LOTS of others although I can never be the best (none of us can). We are all fallible after all, no such thing as a super-mom!!!!
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 4:25 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • It sounds like to me that you have PPD. Go get help for it.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:08 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Could very well be post partum depression. Sounds like it to me. Please make an appt with your family doctor & tell him exactly what you said here. You may need an anti-depressant; which trust me, will help. Some ladies with PPD dont need medication long term, so taking something now, doesnt mean you'll be on it for life.

    and you are NOT a failure! raising children, caring for a home, husband, etc is a very demanding job! Please dont think of yourself as a failure, because you are not.
    RubyinPA

    Answer by RubyinPA at 9:33 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • i feel that way to. i have a 5 yr old and my daughter just turned a month old, i haven't been in my own bed since shes been home. my house isn't like it used to be, and i am running on fumes. the only thing not the same is sex drive. i wanted to jump my husband a week later! lol. hang in there, it will get better, and we are blessed to have such wonderful and understanding husbands.....
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 11:03 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Oh, you are not alone. I think there are times we all feel like that. I know I feel awful so often because I can remember being so much more patient with my 3 year old than I have been here lately, but I'm so tired and emotionally and physically worn out that I feel terrible just for having to get onto him, especially if I lose my temper and shout at him. Being a mom is tough, and I think any of us who care enough do second guess ourselves or feel inadequate every now and then. I know I feel the exact same way - I don't know how many times I've told my husband something I've done or not done has made me feel like a failure. But I know I'm not - just like you're not! :)
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 12:42 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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