My neighbor seems to have some serious care-taker issues. I moved in next to her in September and since then she's tried to replace me making my husband's favorite desert with hers (no kidding - I make home made banana pudding and I told her once that he was getting ready for me to make some - and I was gonna make it on the weekend - she turned up on Thur. with a bowl for him). She KEEPS trying to get me to let her take me to my doctor's appointments - right now I'm sick with flu stuff and she sent me an email (at 3AM) wanting me to tell my husband that he don't have to take me to the dr because she wants to take me. Once when I had to have an endoscopy and DH was out of town - she came to pick me up after the procedure - but then I couldn't get her to just drop me off and let me rest - she insisted on staying with me for the rest of the day - I didn't get an ounce of rest with a practical stranger in my house.
She adopted a homeless man a couple of years ago - for real a homeless, alcoholic and provides him with a place to live, contacted his family and controls everything about him, even doling out his money (that his family sends) a few dollars at a time because she don't want him buying whiskey. She decided that he was gonna quit smoking and told him - then she went and got all the patches, gum, etc and went over there every morning to "get him pilled and patched up" for the day. (I've talked to him and he seems as annoyed by this kind of stuff as I am).
Now, you won't find a nicer person, but the pushy care-taking is getting on my nerves. I told her that I'm not the kind of person who wants anyone around when I'm sick - all I need is DH - but she don't seem to care and always acts like I didn't tell her that. Her email this morning just irritated the daylights out of me (she saw DH outside yesterday and asked him why she hadn't seen me all day, so he told her I was sick and he was taking me to the dr today). Anyhow, I get an email that says "I wish you would call him and just let me take you to the dr instead".
It's starting to drive me nuts. (O on Christmas day we were out of town, just for the day, when we got home - she had came and plugged in all of our outside lights) --- see nothing she does is harmful - just seems like WAY too much meddling for me.
What in the world is wrong with her? Being nice is one thing - but ALWAYS getting up in people's business and practically forcing herself on them when they're sick (even when they're not) is, well, sick. Is it just a controlling personality or something worse?
Answer by samurai_chica at 7:37 AM on Dec. 29, 2010
Answer by mistynights234 at 7:40 AM on Dec. 29, 2010
Answer by RubyinPA at 8:23 AM on Dec. 29, 2010
Answer by tootoobusy at 8:26 AM on Dec. 29, 2010
Answer by RubyinPA at 8:35 AM on Dec. 29, 2010
Wow, she makes me really glad I don't communicate with our neighbors past an occasional wave or delivering their mail that was left in our box. I would put my foot down, don't let her take you to the doctor and when you get home, lock the door and do not let her in. She sounds creepy crazy and I would not want her around me or my kids.
Answer by scout_mom at 8:46 AM on Dec. 29, 2010
I think you need to read the following link (with a number of tools and sublinks) to understand that your neighbor is displaying a Co-dependent Personality Disorder which has manifested itself in her needing to be the "caretaker" and/or "rescuer!"
Answer by LoriKeet at 11:03 AM on Dec. 29, 2010
Answer by Elise1968 at 11:34 AM on Dec. 29, 2010
Answer by _Tam_ at 1:26 PM on Dec. 29, 2010
Answer by momofkids at 6:09 PM on Dec. 29, 2010
Check out some of the top posts today in Groups: