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3 Bumps

Why would this girl do this?

She's 16, preggy, and decided to adopt her child away (thats fine)

based on: (her words) "because the baby will be cared for by a good SAHM and a working dad".... HUH?!

Am I wrong, but she has no way of determining what family her kids go to or what that family decides to do later on. Is that just 16YO mentality based on how they were raised and not thinking that everyone does their own thing?


Asked by Zoeyis at 8:28 AM on Dec. 29, 2010 in Adoption

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (29)
  • teenage mentality and a narrow vision of life so far.
    Maybe she was simply stating what she would like to have, but your also correct in that she cannot control what the future brings.

    Answer by Mandz1 at 10:06 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Many times though the birth mom does get to chose who the child goes to and knows how the child will be raised.

    Answer by keisha613 at 8:32 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • She may already know who is going to get her baby. That's possible now, in some states, at least.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:32 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • she is basing it on the current situation of the adoptive parents. She can specify with some adoptions. It is admirable that she is thinking about what would be best for her unborn child.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:33 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Well, no she can't control what the adoptive family does in the future, but she can find one with the values that she wants for her child - as in a mom who will stay at home with the kids and father who supports the family financially. There is nothing wrong with wanting this, for us it has made a great life.


    Answer by scout_mom at 8:51 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Yeah, most likely that is how she was raised and all she knows.

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:30 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Well, these days you can choose who can adopt your baby. I was able to pick out my own family when I placed my baby up for adoption. It's a wonderful thing. But what the parents decide to do, work or stay home, isn't her decision, unless she picks a family who's already doing that.

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 8:34 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • You are right she can't control what happens after the finalization, nor can she know with 100% certainity that the family she chooses are being honest, with the exception of possibly family she's grown up with. I agree with SR that it is possible the young woman is falling for the hype and not looking at the situation realistically.
    There are many wonderful adoptive parents who will honor what they say, however it doesn't make them immune to life in general. When I placed my son I never considered that adoptive parents would encounter the same things as everyone else, I never really considered the realities of life that can affect everyone. She can choose a couple that will provide a SAHM, but you are correct, life changes.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:03 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Our child. We will never change on that. How would a birth parent know that? I don't know. All I can say is there are many situations that do work out....even with divorce, death in the family, car wrecks. It is called life. No one can predict the future. Butwe can try to make the best choices possible.

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:04 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • You're absolutely right. She can choose the adoptive couple but what happens after she has no control over. Like you point out, adad could get laid off, either parent could get sick or die, they could divorce. All kinds of things could happen in the next 18 years. She can only choose based on what's happening today and hope for the best. It's a gamble.

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:19 PM on Dec. 29, 2010