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Is it normal for teenagers to withdraw from family or am I being a clingy mom?

My daughter spends all of her days in her room, listening to music or texting her friend, she says that she is perfectly happy in there and her grades are great so I don't think it has any negative effect other than I miss her company.

Just to add we eat dinner together as a family every night, she is a great kid, excellent grades, witty, polite. However, she does tend to retreat to her bedroom whereas two years ago we were inseparable, I just miss my little buddy. I know she's growing into her own and I support that. I let her know that I am here for her, I just wanted to make sure it was common and that I wasnt being a Smother mother.

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Asked by MsLegalBriefs at 10:29 AM on Dec. 29, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 7 (184 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • hugsYep, totally normal. I have boys but same thing! Mine are 16 and 19....


    Answer by christinato at 10:31 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I remember going through that phase, I just didn't want to hang out with my mom anymore. I think it's fine. I've been really lucky with my older daughter not going through that so much.

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:31 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • normal, they come back

    Answer by Zoeyis at 10:33 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • She does need to distinguish herself as separate from her family; that's a developmental thing. I think as long as her grades don't suffer, and you're not worried about drugs or anything like that, you let her have her space, then hope that in a couple years when she's more confident in who she is as an individual, she wants to spend more time with you again.

    Answer by SWasson at 10:34 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • That's perfectly normal. She's learning to find a sense of self identity and is growing into an adult.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 10:34 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Yep, totally normal just make sure she knows that you are still there for her and keep a watch on her for grades and other things that you might notice. She will come back

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 10:34 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Very normal, they try to find themselves at this age, just don't give up on her, and stay as close as you can.

    Answer by older at 10:34 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Normal.

    Did you tell her you miss her? Did you tell her how much you like seeing her?

    Answer by ecodani at 10:50 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • It's normal, and teens do need some alone time. However, I think it can become unhealthy if they get too withdrawn. Our teen has to leave her phone in the family room, so if she wants to text she has to do so in the family room. We also keep the computer, video games, and other electronics in the family room. She can take her MP3 player in her room. She does spend a lot of time in her room drawing, but we also have her spend at least a little time each day hanging out with the family. I try to have a mother/daughter outing with her every once in a while, and my husband regularly takes her to get a drink or an ice cream. I know she needs her space, but she also needs to stay connected to us.  It helps us know what's going on with her and it helps her know we're still there when she needs us. 


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 11:09 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I think its normal I was the same way, although most of the reason I hid away like that is because I couldn't stand my father, so I didn't want to be around him when he was home.
    My boys don't do this like Tween&TwinMom, no tv's are in the bedrooms, and the video games and computers are in the livingroom. My boys have a sterio in their room and books. It's very rare that they spend time in the rooms, we spend a lot of time in the livingroom or kitchen when we're home. We also do a lot of things as a family. I give them the space they need but I also feel I need to stay connected with them, that way I do know what's happening and can help if they need me too.
    Just keep your communication open and let her know you're there for her.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:44 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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