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inlaws and was I wrong to finally speak up

I left a message and about inlaws and how to deal with them. the last few nights I have watched my girls eat dinners they do not care for and now again tonight. I finally lost and told his mom my house and my rules and girls. She told me that when visited them in ca but does not apply here. She even told me I was bad and I hold my girls back from things. Husband is no use and following them. I know where He gets it from even when his parents are not here. I thought guests I would plan and cook the meals but they have been doing it all. Am I wrong for saying something finally. I mean they leave friday and should I have just kept quiet or not? Meals should I be cooking or them? I mean I went to the store one day and come home and they made the girls chore charts. Shouldnt that be my job. Any advice would be great.

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momindiana

Asked by momindiana at 11:00 AM on Dec. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (13,326 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • YOUR house, YOUR kids Your rules. Easy as that. If they don't like it, they can stay at a hotel from now on for their visits.
    cheekycherub

    Answer by cheekycherub at 11:03 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • No you are not wrong.

    It is your house, your rules and your girls...... You said it and they need to respect that, if they can't then don't come.

    The house rules don't change because you have company. You need to sit down like adults without the children around and let them know, they should respect it.

    As for them trying to help, tell them you appreciate it and will try it out. You never know it might benefit you and the girls. Have an open mind about their ideas, I only wish my mil was around to give me pointers.

    Good luck, and yes stick to your guns don't let anyone rule your house hold....
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:06 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I would have send something too. You're their mother even when the grand parents are there. I've told my mil that if she doesnt respect my rules she doesn't need to come to my house. DH was surprisingly ok with this lol. I just didn't care anymore. Don't let them disrespect you in front of your kids.
    bseastrand

    Answer by bseastrand at 11:08 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • They are way overstepping the line and yes, I would have said something!
    Elise1968

    Answer by Elise1968 at 11:19 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • It doesn't matter if you're at their house, your house, or the white house. Those are YOUR children and only you should be making chore lists, fixing their meals, etc. Your In-laws have absolutely no say at all as to how those children are raised, what they eat, or any of that. Only you do. If your husband doesn't back you then he's a jerk. He should back you, because those are YOUR children that you're raising. Your In-laws should respect your way of parenting whether they agree with it or not. They had their chance to raise children, and your kids are not their second chance.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:21 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • LMAO! My hubby loves to say 'It's my house. If you don't like it, you can get the f*ck out!'. Just one of his favorite things to say.
    There is no way anyone else is making our kids a flippin chore chart! They have chores, but no damn chart! And I cook in my own home. I'd be pissed, too. And I'd say something, well, my hubby would have already!
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 11:27 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • My house, since I'm the only one cooking, if you don't like what I eat, then you can go hungry. If we have guests, I do let thelm help me in the kitchen, but they are guests. They don't need to spend their time waiting on us, and that is what I tell them.
    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 12:05 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I read the other post you made and there's obviously something more going on here. Continue standing up for yourself or they'll continue to walk all over you. Since they are leaving Friday, be sure to lock the door behind them and never invite them back again. Lay down some rules for your husband as well because he obviously feels that his parents rules are the ones that should be set in his house.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:20 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Your house, your kids, your rules. She can deal with it.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 12:22 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • How often do you see them? If not often, I'd laugh at her and let it go. If she's around a lot I'd stand up to her too. Sometimes it's easier just to thank them for their input then disregard when they leave!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:41 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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