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I am a Stepmom with 2 step children that are 7 and 9. Should I be responsible for watching them on my husband's days of possesion?

My husband has joint custody of his 2 daughters. They are 7 and 9. I am a teacher therefore I have off summers and holiday breaks. On the days he has possession of the children should I be responsible for watching them when he is at work? This is how our schedule with his daughters work. One week we have them Monday, Tuesday, friday, saturday and Sunday. Then the next week we have them Wednesday and Thursday. Then it switches back to the first one again and on and on like that. Should I be responsible for watching them on his days since I am not their biological mother? Please help me with this!!!!!!

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JillS78

Asked by JillS78 at 11:04 AM on Dec. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (18 Credits)
Answers (46)
  • Here's a link to the 22 answers you got yesterday when you asked this question.


    Including my own.


    http://www.cafemom.com/answers/687361/I_am_a_Stepmom_with_2_step_children_that_are_7_and_9_Should_I_be_responsible_for_watching_them_on_my


     


     


     

    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 11:08 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Just because you married a man with kids does not mean that you should be the go-to babysittter for their mom. If you and the girls get a long and you enjoy spending time with them that's one thing, but if you are getting the kids dumped on you because you're a teacher and have your summers off, that's another.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:08 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • When you agreed to marry your husband, was this discussed? I think it would give you a wonderful opportunity to get to know the girls better. Dont look at it as a chore- but as an opportunity. How would you expect your husb to handle the situation if it was reversed, & they were your children & he was the teacher in the family? You are a family now- so bond like a family. :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 11:08 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Yes, of course. Someone needs to surprivise them while he is at work. Since you are the step-mom, the job falls to you.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:10 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • It depends on you. I would watch them because even if you are not the biological mum you still the wife of their father. And probably you both agreed to get the custody before you actually got it. So you are as responsible for them as he. But if you don't feel like watching them it can cause trouble with the custody as well. Because if the bio mum finds out that her children is with someone else while they are under your custody she can say that you are not serious about the custody. If you don't want to watch them all day, you can find some clubs for them. You can drop them off and collect when it will finish. Why do you actually ask this question? Do you like those kids? Or do you have problem with their mum? Or... Write me a private email if you want to talk about the details.

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 11:10 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Seriously? I answered yesterday, and if I was the biological mom, and found out just how desperately you didn't want to care for my children, I'd be looking for full custody of my children.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:12 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • They are your responsibility. They are YOUR step children. That means you care for them.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 11:15 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I have to say yes. You married into it knowing there were 2 kids already. Plus at least he's working! I mean come on. He's making a living so you can be home during the summer and not have to get a summer job. I mean you want to be careful not to overstep things. Maybe sit down with their bio mom and your hubby and see what rules they set. Then follow them. You are pretty much their 2 mom. When you marry a daddy you kind of become a mommy.
    SarahsAMommy

    Answer by SarahsAMommy at 11:16 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • WOW ARE YOU FOR REAL? Of course your responsible for the children. You married a man who has children! This not dawn on you when you were dating? You make these children sound like objects, not people. That is a bit strange within its self. But yes you are responsible..just like a real parent!

    tracylyn245

    Answer by tracylyn245 at 11:17 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Before you were married who watched the kids when your hubby worked? If they went to daycare before they can do that now. If you don't want to keep the girls (for whatever reason) talk with your hubby about this.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:19 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

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