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Should I leave our master bedroom door open at night while sleeping?

I am a stepmom and I have been married to my husband for over 2 years. I guess before I married him he always left his bedroom door open at night. He says he did it for his children so that he could hear things at night better, or if they needed him he would hear. Well when I married him we got all new furniture for the bedroom so to me that room is the only room in the house that truly feels like mine, since he bought the home with his ex. Ever since I was a little girl I always slept with my door shut, so obviously I want to shut the master bedroom door. But now since we have his oldest daughter who is 10 years old if freaking out, she claims she gets scared at night and is worried if someone were to break in that we would not hear anything because the door is shut. I feel she is just being demanding and trying to get her way. Is it wrong for me to want to keep the door shut at night? Does anyone else shut their door at night with kids age 7 and 10, that is how old my step daughters are. BTW my step daughter that is 7 has no problems at all with the door being shut, only my step daughter who is 10. Please help me with this!!!

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JillS78

Asked by JillS78 at 11:52 AM on Dec. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (18 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • I never shut my door when I sleep.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 11:53 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • My SD shuts her own door at night. I would rather the door shut, this way the children know it is the "adult" room and they must knock before entering.
    Andriya

    Answer by Andriya at 11:54 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I would keep the door open. I want to hear my kids if they call me.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 11:54 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • If he has always kept it open and it makes her feel better then what is the big deal? Part of parenting or step parenting is putting the children first. Are they over there every night or is it just EOW?
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:55 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I have never shut my door ever while sleeping and I am 50 I want to hear all things happening in the house
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 11:55 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • i think if it were your own daughter you would keep the door open! i believe if it makes the child feel safe then do it! do you need the door shut to feel safe yourself?
    edensgarden101

    Answer by edensgarden101 at 11:56 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • How are you able to make love if the door is always wide open??
    I'd say new rules,the door stays shut. You may enter when given permission. Invest in a home security system if you feel you must
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:58 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • its normal for her and it makes her feel safe and secure id say just leave the door open i dont sleep with my door closed and i have a 9 year old so i like to be able to hear what my kids are doing. You think shes being demanding and wanting her way but i bet if you took the time to sit down with her youd find theres a good reason behind it. the children should always come first.
    Jaxsmommy09

    Answer by Jaxsmommy09 at 11:58 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Our room gets to hot with the heat on if we leave our door shut so I sleep with it open. Does the girl sleep with her door shut? My kids both do and that helps them feel safe. Maybe you should put in an alarm system so you can sleep the way you want to.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:59 AM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • We leave it open, or the room would freeze! Even without that, we've always left it open to sleep. My husband sleeps better that way, and I personally don't care.

    The door is not a big deal, Jill. I think it's hiding a bigger problem... a trust issue on her part, and possibly a little "second wives club" type resentment on your part (since you note that he bought the house with the ex).

    TRUST is only built through time and through showing you can be trusted. If it means leaving the door open for a bit, then leave it open. It's a little thing that will mean a lot to HER and to your husbnd.

    As to the latter... I'm also a member of the Second Wives Club. Remember who actually has the husband and the deed to the home, and banish any thought of it not being yours. It IS. She's gone... you're ere.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:01 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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