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Why do we as parents feel guilty about saying no or seeing our children cry? and how do you pass that?

OMG, my daughter is 11 and the roads are icey, there is snow towering our streets and she wants to go to her Aunts house. Not today, i told her I will drive her in the morning, before i go to work and pick her up after I come home.

Owell. It is my job to be the best parent I can be, so if I feel it is not safe right now, then guess what you can't go. That is what I say to help it pass. Also, I don't want a rotten kid, or not respectful kid.

Answer Question
 
KFree907

Asked by KFree907 at 12:54 PM on Dec. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 20 (8,947 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I'm immune to the crying stuff. I'm not there to win a competition, I'm there to keep my kids safe.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 12:56 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Parenting is not for wussies! Seriously... It's a tough job. Sometimes, you have to make them cry. Crying never hurt anyone though. Be tough and stand firm. That's what my mother used to tell me. Good advice!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:56 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Honestly, if we have over dramatic tears around here, I send them to their room. We can talk about everything, and it's all cool, but if you are melting down, you can go pull yourself together. It's not a punishment, but it's also not productive.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:58 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I can honestly say that I have never fely guilty for saying no to my children, I am mom, not friend.
    A.Perry

    Answer by A.Perry at 12:59 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • If figure if I'm stern and very disciplined now then when they hit their teens I can afford to be lenient becasue they will already know right from wrong and what they are supposed to do.

    The only time I really have a hard time is when they are hurt or sick and I cant really do anything to fix it but kisses and sitting up all night with them. But that is totally different than saying no and them crying about it.
    Jwick

    Answer by Jwick at 1:33 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I'm not sure you really get passed it, but you just deal with it because you want what's best for your kids. I just think about how mean I thought my mom was when we were younger, but I understand now why she was that way. She wasn't mean, she just wanted to keep us safe. Once my kids have kids of their own, they will understand too.
    Ms_Michaelis

    Answer by Ms_Michaelis at 1:59 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I don't feel guilty. My kids can cry and whine all they want about stuff. I just ignore them or send them to their rooms to cry there so I don't have to listen to it. I'm not here to be their BFF and I don't particularly care if they "like" or "hate" me from day to day. My job is to raise them to be productive members of society not to be my best friend. There's a running joke in our house..."the answer is always, 'no'" because the kids constantly ask for/to do things they know I will say no to.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:35 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Kids will always cry and whine.....but you have to remember you're their parent, not their friend!
    shanapiv

    Answer by shanapiv at 3:00 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I don't feel guilty, some times I say no just to say no.
    paulswife208

    Answer by paulswife208 at 4:16 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I was the youngest of 6 and was told NO often.It is hard very hard sometimes because they do not care why only ,why not! If you never told your child no how do you think they would turn out?Remember when you were told no??I always have said there are only 2 true answers in this world yes and no,and you gotta be ready to deliver and handle the outcome of each.Now as I step off my soap box and go on!Oh and as far as whining goes anytime mine would i'd tell them they are messing with the champion whiner of all times and out whine them!!it was fun and they got the drift .And never feel guilty!They will use that on you too!
    grismelda

    Answer by grismelda at 4:42 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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