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Just Curious? How often do you and your SO make love? adult content

My SO and I are 49 and 48 (respectively). I know that it is normal for woman of my age to have a stronger sex drive, but i feel sometimes that I am putting unnecessary pressure on my SO. I dont expect him to make love to me nightly even tho it would be nice. I am lucky to get it twice a week and it seems to be only when he is in the mood. He says he desires me, but that he is not always in the mood. He said it frustrates him also. He has been to the doctor and they say everything is okay. He has tried pills, but he said they just keep him hard longer, they dont give him the desire. He even bought me a toyand has told me to feel free to use it whether he is here or not, but its not the same. I want him! Any suggestions? I've tried everything I can think of. Im okay when hes not in the mood, I guess that it bothers me that I only seem to get it when he is in the mood. I take care of him even when I may not be totally in the mood. I dont want this to become a major problem in our relationship. My ex did not make love to me for the last 8 years of our marriage. I dont want another relationship like that and I am afraid if I say anything it will just escalate into a fullblown problem. HELP!

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Dec. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • We don't keep track, often enough for the both of us. Men put too much emphasis on performance when there are a lot of other things that can satisfy as well.

    Answer by older at 1:59 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • well this month is almost over, and sadly...only once. we're both so busy during the day that we're too tired to make time for each other lol

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 2:00 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • My husband and I are 30 and 33 respectively. We have sex anywhere from 2-5 times per week, save for the one week AF is present.
    Advice? I don't know. My husband and I are super touchy feel-y with each other. As soon as we get home, we hug and kiss. If we pass each other in the hallway, we hug and kiss. If I'm making supper, he will come in and try to molest me (lol). We give each other pecks through the evening, we hold hands in the car, etc. I think all the touching in and of itself makes a GIANT difference, as we weren't always this way. It's not the sex that brings us closer, rather the everyday intimacy.

    Answer by Fawn80 at 2:01 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Not enought!

    Answer by Ms.Maricel at 2:04 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • How long have you been together? Maybe he's just bored: I do this to you, then you do this to me, etc. Maybe it's time to shake things up a bit! My SO and I have only been together 3 months and things are hotter than ever. (I am the same age as you and horny as hell lol). And I agree with Fawn80. The everyday touching and intimacy helps a lot. We always hold hands, kiss, touch each other. It's like foreplay all day long! lol

    Answer by Inloveagain at 2:17 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • It really is like foreplay, Inloveagain! LOL. There are days when I can go home from work in the WORST mood ever, and sex will be the absolute last thing I want to think about. But, after a couple hours of him "flirting" with me, smacking my butt, playfully grabbing a boob, kissing, etc....well...that's enough for me to want it!

    Answer by Fawn80 at 2:28 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • We are also 48 & 49.. We average 5 times a week. We made an agreement many years ago (we have been married 25 yrs) that we do not go more than 2 days without having sex. Unless of course unforeseen circumstances pop up and get in the way. Which, that does happen, life is life, and it has a way of just being in the way sometimes.. LOL..However, over the years since we made this agreement, life getting in the way doesn't seem to happen nearly as often as it did before.

    If he is simply not in the mood. Then he needs to do some deep searching within himself in order to see what is affecting his "mood". It could be: mental, emotional, stress, something bothering him in regards to the relationship..etc. Just like women loose interest because of outside factors, the same is true for men as well. It's just part of being human really. Have him start really looking inwards to analyze what it is that is really affecting his "mood"

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:36 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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