Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you do? DH says no gifts from his dad allowed but......(long)

First off I dont want to come off as someone who doesnt appreciate the gift my daughter got. I do. My father in law had a big falling out with my husband in Oct. He had been living with us and ended up really just messing us over, and my husband had to ask him to leave. It wasnt a pretty thing, but overall my husband was alright bc his father had been an absent father he was just hoping things would be different as an adult I guess. I wont go into all the drama, but there was ALOT of strain on our marriage because of the guy. The last thing he told my husband was to blow it out of A$$, and my husband was very hurt. He had also yelled at our daughter and pushed her which was really the catalyst to asking him to leave. We havent heard from him since. Not a call to ask about my DH, or our daughter, nothing. No apologies.

On Christmas eve he showed up at our door step with one gift for our daughter who is 5. I have kids from a previous marriage, and everyone usually buys for them too, even if its a dollar gift. I didnt know what he had or didnt have to give,but knew he had one bag in his hand. I told DH his dad was at the door. My Dh turned him away to my surprise & said he cant just show up here pretending like nothing happened bc it is Christmas. Its his dad so I wont interfere or get in the middle.
Well my mil (they are divorced have been forever) called today and said he showed up at her work and tried to give the gift to her to give my daughter. She told him no, it was between him and his son. She called back again and said it was a brand new laptop. She took it from him and said she thought I would let her have it for school (uh? shes 5). Now I have this new laptop, and yes my daughter does do letterland, nickjr etc, but I am pretty sure my husbands going to go through the roof. Do I send it back? Do I say its a group gift for all the kids? How would you handle it?


Asked by gemgem at 2:04 PM on Dec. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 42 (148,630 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • I would send the laptop back. It was nice of him to buy her a present but 1. you have other kids in the house too, he could bring something of all of them and 2. and most important, he can't buy his way into your lives again. He needs to apologize to your DH and probably you for his behaviour. I would send the gift back and maybe write a letter explaining why I did it.


    Answer by mysevenkids at 2:14 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I feel like crying. I really don't know the whole situation but I feel realaly bad that the Man was turned away at Christmas. He in his own way was making amends. He didn't know how to be a father to your DH so he probably doesn't know how to be a Grandpa. This gift is not the issue at all & frankly who cares what you do with it or say who it is for. Children don't NEED to get gifts from everyone and I am sure that all the kids got enough anyway without his. I feel so sad like this is a sad Christmas movie. I would have invited him in, fed him then let him leave. It was just for one day. He seems sorry, if he wasn't, he would not have bothered to come to you on Christmas. One day. That's how I feel anyway. I am not judgeing you and I am sorry if I seem that way but life is way too short to eliminate someone from a family day who is seeking forgiveness.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I would feel sorry for him but I know him and he is very manipulative, lies alot etc. I did not get into it with him like I said since it was between him and my DH not me.

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 2:34 PM on Dec. 29, 2010