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4 Bumps

wow can he handle this?

so my s/o just moved in i have one child he has none he has never lived with a child also and lately he has been acting like its a little to much... what do i do? how can i make it easyer? and now he doesent want to have a child with me untill next year... wich hurt my feelings a little since my daughter is 5 and i miss haveing a baby so how do i make it better?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Dec. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • sorry i just bumped cuz i can't think of anything to answer.
    noel1978

    Answer by noel1978 at 2:56 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Sounds like he is being a child. Thank goodness you are seeing this now before you had a child with him or married. Life is what it is, either he accepts it or he can leave. That's my opinion.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • how long has he lived there with child?
    is he getting better or worse with child?
    would he take a parenting class or read some books on parenting?
    it is a good thing if he wants to wait to have child, he needs to adjust to idea
    if he has not been around children, this is a very new thing to him
    does he have fun with your child?
    i would watch very closely the relationship, do not make excuses for him and think with your head not heart
    you can not make someone want to be a parent
    better not to be a parent when you know you do not want to, then to become a parent and then decide it was a bad choice for you

    good luck
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 3:00 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • If it were me, I'd give him a break. He doesn't have children, he just moved in with you and your child, it takes some time to adjust. I wouldn't put too much pressure on him. I know it hurts your feelings that he wants to wait to have a child with you (I have a SO that doesn't have children, and my youngest is 4, and I would love a child right now, but I'm not the only one who is invested in this, and I need to consider his feelings too), so I do understand. How long you've been together can play a factor into this too. Are you rushing to have a child with him simply because YOU want a child, or do you want to build a lifelong partnership with him and build a family with him?
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 3:01 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • my husband married me with never living with me first as i don't believe in that. he had to adjust to things and it has been tough at times but he adjusted and he takes a very active role in raising my kids. now when he married me i had an almost 2 yr old, 15, 12 yr old. he grew up with a big family and family in our religion is a big issue. he wanted kids right away and wants another after our first child. now i'm not sure your man will ever adjust. maybe he should take some parenting classes to help him deal with your child. as for you wanting another child without being married and he not handling having a kid to me equels = 16 and pregnant where 80% of the males leave cause they can't handle having a baby. i don't recommend that.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:43 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Before he moved in, you should've known how much he could tolerate living with your daughter. You shouldn't make anything easier for him, he needs to adjust to the situation. ...and maybe you should recondsider having a baby with someone your just getting to know...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:14 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • it shouldnt hurt your feelings that he wants to wait to have a child. thats childish. id work on letting him know, hey, it doesnt get any easier than this.. only more difficult. you knew i had a child when you moved in, and if its too much for you, you need to get out now before the child gets too attached to her/his new live in boyfriend of mommy. I had a child out of wedlock, but i know in most cases, esp one like this, marriage should be put first instead of adding another baby to it. good luck!
    mohme2three

    Answer by mohme2three at 5:55 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • He obviously wasn't really ready for that step. Instead of just moving in, you should have worked it out so that he would stay the night every couple of nights and spend weekends there (staying overnight) to adjust to living in a home with a child. Doing it this way he'd have been better prepared.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 3:34 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • well i have been with him for three years he poped the question an moved in my dd loves him as he loves her he is geting use to it fine so far thank you
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:00 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

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