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My daugher (8 years old) seeing violence.

A while ago we had to leave her father because he was violent towards me, but never towards her, as much as I tried to protect her she saw some of it and gets upset when she has to leave for school because she's convinced something's going to happen to me. She doesn't seem happy within herself because of it and I feel so guilty. Any advice on this situation?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Nov. 10, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (7)
  • Poor girl. Has she been to a counselor? Maybe counseling for both of you together would be in order here.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 4:28 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • And kudos to you for getting out. Be proud of yourself. A lot of women can't bring themselves to take that step. Stop beating yourself up over what happened and be grateful to yourself for what you prevented by leaving.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 4:29 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Good for you to get out of an abusive situation. Youa re teaching her more than you know by not allowing it to continue! ~~~
    I would think that it will take her awhile to get over her fears. My daughter is almost 8 and has been really clingy to me lately and afraid to be away from me, and nothing bad has happened to her or me! Maybe part of it is just a stage that she is going through? But....keep as much communication open as you can and do what you can to reassure her. It's gonna be tough, but try to remember how far you have come and how much better she is for being away from the abuse!
    christyg

    Answer by christyg at 5:06 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Maybe some counseling. I mean you two could go together once in awhile and just have some nice "talk therapy". She could also talk to the counselor alone and maybe get some issues she is having worked out. It's worth a try. :) Good luck.
    raybell

    Answer by raybell at 6:00 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • i was your daughter not to long ago. just remember to talk to her and reassure her. also my mom gave me a stuffed animal as a comfort and you would be amazed how much that helped.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • You need reassure her, tell her you left because you are a strong woman who would no longer allow someone to hurt her and that now that you have found the strength it will never happen again you will never let anyone hurt you or her again. You need to be strong and make sure that she knows that it is not okay for anyone to hurt her and remember to tell her how proud you are of her and pump her with compliments nonstop. Maybe even do some research to find books about strong women that can be inspiration to both of you. You will both be in my prayers and you will see children at this age are still innocent and can easily get over things such as this as time goes on. Kudos I am inspired by your strength and courage God Bless You Both
    theschwenkfam

    Answer by theschwenkfam at 5:37 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • My son also saw his father abuse me. I left him when he turned on my son. Fortunately he was only 2 so he doesn't remember much. I would make sure to talk often with your daughter about what happened. Tell her that you understand her fears but you are both safe now. Maybe send her a picture and a little note with her to school. Tell her to look at it whenever she misses you. Or start a journal and every day right a message to her and have her write a message back. And of course get her in counseling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Nov. 11, 2008

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