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3 Bumps

How to deal with an inconsiderate husband?

My dh is not very considerate of me. It seems like all he cares about is himself. He didn't use to be like this but for the past year he has. He didn't even care to request off from work for mothers day, my bday. We didn't even do anything for my bday and he didn't even bother getting me any gifts for Christmas. He made sure to request off for fathers day, his bday and any day he wants to go do something. We went out for his bday. I bought him Christmas gifts. I don't care about material things but at least put an effort into showing me you care. I will also be spending the new year alone because he has to work. He just doesn't care if I am alone or if I ever get out of the house. It really hurts and I just don't know what to do anymore. I wish he was more considerate of me and worry about what he wants a little less. What do I do? I am just depressed now because he doesn't even take the time to show he cares or does anything to show he was thinking of me or that I am an important part of his life. I am just about to give up on us, this marriage.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Dec. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I am sorry. Have you told him how you feel?
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 5:45 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Have you told him?
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 5:45 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I am sorry for your loss of a decent husband. The more you tolerate those things the worse it'll be and the more you'll resent and be miserable. Nip it in the bud as aggressively as u can .... either he has NO idea what a pig he's being or he's just not emotionally invested anymore.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:46 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I have told him how I feel but he just doesn't ever say much when I let him know it bothers me. I am just so upset and cry all the time now.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:47 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Hugs! I don't know if it will help, but I would try talking to him and letting him know how you feel. If he still fails to show you some consideration then I would stop thinking of him, and doing things for him. Like-- if he does not do anything for you for mother's day, then you ignore father's day. If he says anything about no fuss on father's day then speak up and say "oh since we did not celebrate mother's day this year we are not celebrating fathers day either" and then I would go on to say something like "it hurts to be overlooked and ignored doesn't it? Now you know how I feel when you do it to me!" Maybe if HE is 'slighted' he will see how it feels. Another thing you could do is stop spending money on him and spend it on yourself instead and 'treat' yourself (since he won't).
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 5:50 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I would ask him to go to counseling w/ you. He's not being forthcoming at all. Could there be another woman? I know we can sometimes take each other for granted, but this behavior goes beyond that. If he refuses to go w/ you to counseling, go w/out him so you can learn ways to cope w/ this, even if it means coping alone. I wish you the best. *Hugs
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:53 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • he knows that he is hurting you and does not care
    sounds like he haschecked out of this relationship
    so sorry
    maybe therapy?
    maybe some time apart he would appreciate what he is missing OR he will be happy for more space = at least this would tell you where his heart is... is he inconsiderate or unable to love, respect or even be civil
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 5:53 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Mizlee thank you. I will try those things and see how he responds. I was about to give up all hope on us and him. It hurts knowing someone you love does not even put an effort into things anymore.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:54 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • sounds like there is someone else
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 5:54 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Another woman is what I am afraid of. I haven't ever mentioned it but my mind has had that thought a time or two. I will look into counseling in my area and hopefully he will go.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:56 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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