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been engaged a year(whats the problem)

aug 17 was 1 year engaged april19 will be 3 years together. when he popped the question he said pick a date well i did and every date i give he says lets wait. i dont understand the problem. we have a 2 anf a half month old son and money is tight but my family says they can take care of it. i dont know why we cant just do it already, is he putting it off bc he dosent want to marry me now

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hunters_mom820

Asked by hunters_mom820 at 4:35 PM on Nov. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • We were engaged before I got pregnant, but he wanted to wait until after grad school. Now we have a 7 month old and grad school isn't happening and he FINALLY agreed to pick a date last month, but that date is for 3 years from now! Don't worry about it! It's probably the money thing, or in my man's case, he wants to finish paying off school first so I don't inheret his debt!
    Monnek

    Answer by Monnek at 4:38 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • It's the money thing hun. Just pick a date even if it long off. Don't worry ..............
    jareda69

    Answer by jareda69 at 4:45 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I have soooooo many friends in your position only most of them now have two kids and one of them is 31, the other is 25 and the ages go down from her.

    What happens in my opinon is your already his wife (you know that old saying about buying the cow if you get the milk free).

    All my friends keep talking about "we don't have enough $ to get married" which is a load of crap. One is buying a house (they've been together for 5 yr.s), the other gets MBWs and jewlery like crazy (they have been together for 11 yrs.)but her SO keeps saying they have no $ for a wedding like the one she deserves.PFFFFFFFF! It's a load of crap. A man that loves you will marry you and if he REALLY wants to give you a big fairy tail wedding he will after you get married. But if you wait for him to deciede he has the $, good luck, there will always be something else. A car, things for the baby, a house, etc...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • My husband and I were together over 5 years and engaged for almost 3. When the time was right we set a date & planned & were married with a year. The time will come when everything falls into place for both of you at the same time.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 4:47 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • PS, don't take fairy tail advice from ladies in your shoes. They are as confused as you are. And I am not being a jerk about it. I'm being sincear, even though it sounds badly.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • JMO - but I dont understand why people get engaged that are not ready to set a date - or set it soooo far into the future? Monnek - three years from now? Shoot, everything can change in three years.
    If you are not ready to get married, then dont ask the person to marry you. Again - JMO. I would ask him - what are you waiting for?
    dragonfly7271

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 4:50 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I would flat out ask him why he keeps putting it off and what it is going to take to set a date.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 4:52 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Sorry, to say this to you but if he wanted to marry you he would. Whenever. He is putting it off because he is not sure. My man and I got engaged than moved in together, several months later I overheard him tell someone that i'm just his girlfriend and no we are not engaged . I never would have moved in with him had this been the case. lesson learned..... you are not engaged until the date is set and church is reserved!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Do you ask him WHY he wants to wait? That's what matters!
    KatieCrandall

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 5:56 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I agree with Anonymous 2:03. I have a guy friend who confided in me that he wanted to get engaged to his girlfriend because he thinks "fiance" sounds better than "girlfriend." He didn't say anything about actually getting married. Just wants to be "engaged."
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 6:26 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

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