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What do you say to a friend that just lost her baby?

I just found out my friend lost her 9 month old baby on the 23rd. He died of health complications.
I don't know what to say to her. I'm almost afraid to say anything since I have 2 healthy children. I've known this girl since elementary.

 
mommy_of_two388

Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 7:42 PM on Dec. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 43 (154,356 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I would just call and ask if there is anything you can do for her. I would tell her sorry and that you will be there for her if she needs it. Other than that I would say anything. Anything you say besides that may seem rude.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 7:44 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I'm sorry this happened to you. Let me know if there's ANYTHING I can do to make your life a little easier while you grieve.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:45 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • www.babylosscomfort.com/what-do-i-say

    MrsMWF

    Answer by MrsMWF at 7:45 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • That is so sad! She probably just needs comfort more than anything. Check out the site that MrsMWF gave you...it probably has good info. I will be praying for her and her family.
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 7:51 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Give her a big hug, tell her how very sorry you are and let her know that you are there for her if she wants to talk. You could ask if there is anything she needs, or if you can do anything to help. Then if she does want to talk- be there for her and listen.
    I had a miscarriage in 2004 and my best friend lived in Germany. She emailed me daily, and even called me a few times to let me know that she loved me, she was thinking of me and she wished she could give me a big hug! She was there for me, she listened to me, she cried with me and just knowing that she was there for me really helped me cope and to heal.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 7:54 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I agree with the pp, tell her you're sorry for her loss and you're there for her should she need anything, including an ear or a shoulder to cry on.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 7:58 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I'm not sure. I hate to say this because I feel so guilty, but thankfully I have never been in that situation. I would send a card, with my number and tell her to call. I'm sure she is grieving and needs some time to herself and her immediately family. Also, bring over a meal for her, and ask what she needs. She may want to be around you and your children to help her grieve, or she may want to be by herself. That is for her to decide. Also, don't send flowers. Everyone does it, remember flowers die and they just become a reminder of life and death. If you do feel the need to send something, or give a gift, give wind chimes. We were given a set when my mom passed, and every time we hear them, we think of her. I'm sorry anyone has to go through this. Good luck.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 8:16 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Sometimes you don't need to say anything. If you can go to her house, go and just take a coffee and a box of tissue. Be there for her, let her talk, scream, cry, rant, whatever she needs. I think if I were her I would just be lost and depressed, stuck in bed, maybe you could straighten up the house, do the dishes or run some errands for her. Sending prayers.

    LadybugTash

    Answer by LadybugTash at 9:11 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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