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2 Bumps

A quick move may need to happen within 2 weeks, but how do I tell my son's father without drama?

even after almost 4 yrs of not being together he likes to control me and tell me im selfish in everything I do. sometimes uses my son as a pawn.My son lives with him. (yes i know i sound horrible for leaving without my son) but i rather do that then live on the street and not see him ever again...... well. there is a situation at hand where a move have to happen, not an option cause we would be homeless. the only thing is. its out of state. how do i tell him without him being a complete douche...??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Dec. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • are you trying to get custody and that is why you need to move so this way you can have a stable home environment for your son? i would just tell him. its easier to just get it out in the open and do what you have to do. as a mother and even a woman our choices are so difficult to make and we have to do what is in the best interest. i would move if imeant i would set up a better life for myself and then i can eventually get my child. good luck to you.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 8:58 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • just tell him...when will you see your son? i agree you have to do what you have to do but its sad to be so far from your son.
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 8:48 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • extremly sad to be away. i dont want to, but to the state of Fla I dont have custody.. the jerk manipulated me and i fell for it..... if i move, the soonest i would see him would most likely be april :(
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:51 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • thats pretty much it. lambdarose. i want to get him back sooo bad, but the situation here with roomies is going bad so we need to move (bf and i) and moving with my mom to get on my feet, then go for custody. hoping within a year that will be started and all
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:04 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I apologize for the analogy ahead of time, but in this situation asking for no drama is like asking for it to rain and not make mud puddles, likely it just can't happen.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 9:19 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • There will be drama. Not only would I tell him soonest but also set up a new parenting plan that deals with out of state visitation.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 10:12 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • You need to talk to a lawyer. If you don't have custody and take your child out of state it may be kidnapping. In Indiana a child of divorced parents may not leave the state without the other parent's permission or a court order. Since you don't have custody and want to move in Indiana it would take a court order. What would happen if you left with the child would be an amber alert for kidnapping. You would be arrested and of course would have little chance of getting custody or unsupervised visitation after that. Talk to abused women's groups, there are shelters and organizations that help women have a place to live so they don't have to give up custody.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:49 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • I gave the example of Indiana because that's the state I know the most about. It's common to not be able to leave the state with a child. Most people don't realize state laws are the most important about divorce, custody, and visitation. The way our government is set up there are more state laws then laws that cover the whole country. If you want to get your son back moving into a shelter or section 8 apartment on your own would most likely be a better choice than living with a bf or moving out of state to live with your mother. You usually can't live with a bf in section 8. Some section 8 apartment complexes in some places are nice.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:57 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • womans shelter is not an option.. but thank you for the info.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:07 AM on Dec. 31, 2010