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What's a girl to do? adult content

NO RUDE COMMENTS, please.

My husband and I are both conservative. Long story short he is no longer sleeping with me due to some marital disagreements we faced last summer. My question is: How am I to fulfill my sexual needs while remaining faithful to my marriage vows? When I try to talk to him about it, we get into a huge argument. So that hasn't worked. Yes, I know how to pleasure myself but it's not the same. Yes, we are in a marriage class so we are talking about our marriage on a somewhat regular basis. I don't know if there's really an answer--I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask. Thanks for listening.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Dec. 29, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (14)
  • get a Rabbit
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:56 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Just keep waiting and stick with counseling, that's all I know to say...have you brought it up in counseling? I think you should if you haven't...the Bible says neither spouse should deprive the other physically...
    the_kimmers

    Answer by the_kimmers at 8:56 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • The only solution is pleasuring yourself (manually or with the help of toys) until the issues in your marriage have been worked out.

    Issues/problems/discord in a marriage does have a great affect on a couples sex life. Whether they realize it or not. You guys are a step ahead of the game because you both admit that it is marital problems that are the underlying cause and you are both addressing them/working to rectify them together.

    Good luck to you. Working out marital issues is never an easy thing to do. However, if you both are on the same page and both are working together (not against one another) to try and work things out you guys stand a real good chance of being together in a more loving/intimate relationship once again.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 8:58 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Good Luck! I know doing it yourself is not fun but the pain and guilt of going outside the marriage is worse. What's a girl to do that is a million dollar question.

    Sarahedger

    Answer by Sarahedger at 8:59 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • Well I was in that place for 10 yrs... yes 10 yrs.... soooo he decided this past year to divorce me. We just came to a place of irreconciable differences from both sides.
    All I was told to do all those years is to take care of changing me and letting him into God's hands to make his own choices and allow God to work on his heart. I worked on changing but he wouldnt except the times i did try to change and he chose not to let go of some hurts and allow himself to heal but to hold on to the past and all that crud. I went ahead and allowed God to heal me and just kept moving forward with or without him. I finally stood my ground and said enough.. decide. He decided. I do not recommend divorce unless its all its left and there is no change I do encourage you to work on your marriage as long as you can. Above all PRAY
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 9:00 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • By the way just so there are people jumping to conclusions there was no adultery involved.
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 9:02 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I don't mean to pull you down but that sounds to me like he has someone else, it's rare for a guy not to have sex for a long time and not try to do anything about it. But what you need its a serious talk with him tell him that you don't want to argue or fight but let him know how you feel. Also if you are sure that he is not doing anything I could also be that he is facing an ED? and he is to embarrassed to tell you anything so his best response is to be aggressive to you and keep you away. In any case you should invite him to a place neutral to talk so he will know that there is not going to be any drama.
    gou18

    Answer by gou18 at 9:03 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • He is so mad that he doesn't want sex? Where is he getting his sexual gratification from then?
    I am sorry. I wish I had some sort of answer for you, but I don't.
    Talking it out is the only solution I see.. unless you want to live in a sexless marriage or divorce.
    Jambo4

    Answer by Jambo4 at 9:24 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • marital disagreements? That must be SOME disagreement. I would be worried about infidility on his part. Your not the only one suffering from no sex....unless?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • You are doing what you can...you are pleasuring yourself when the need arises and working on your marriage issues. Thats better than many do when issues arise.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 10:26 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

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