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8 Month Old Power Play

My little girl just turned 8 months and she has started throwing these "power struggle tantrums" I don't really know what to call them. I try to give her as much attention/face to face play time as I can. I just started working outside of the home for longer periods of time, so maybe she is acting out because she misses me. When I come home I try to cuddle and play with her as much as I can but she won't let me put her down once I have picked her up. She will lock her legs, throw herself down, and she will start crying (it starts out as a fakey sounding "hey, hey, hey" kinda cry. I try not to give in and then she starts the real tears and screaming cry. I pick her up for a moment and try to calm her but she just goes back to crying once I put her down again. I have tried distracting her with a favorite lovey (stuffed animal) or other toy, put on music, let her play with plastic kitchen spoons and paper plates. I have even put on a baby Einsteinian video but that doesn't always work. Once it's over she will cruise over to the gate and scream at me if I am in the kitchen making dinner and trying to clean. I am not a fan of letting them "cry it out" but at the same time I do not want to reward the fake attention crying. I use to carry her around in the Moby wrap but she is now almost 18lbs and it puts alot of stress on my back after 2-3 hours. She is also acting out in the store too. After being in the cart for a short period of time she starts the screaming. I bring a paci and a lovey but they don't often work.

Any advice would be helpful.

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Momma2Miranda

Asked by Momma2Miranda at 11:19 PM on Dec. 29, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 6 (137 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Do you think your trying to do to much? Or is this in the middle of nap time?
    DancerMomof2

    Answer by DancerMomof2 at 11:50 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • This is whenever you are trying to do something that does not involve paying attention to her. She wants the 24/7 focus to be on her once I get home but she is like this with the sitter too.
    Momma2Miranda

    Comment by Momma2Miranda (original poster) at 11:56 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • She might be trying make up for missed mommy time. Mine would do that sort of thing too. It's not manipulating.. manipulation requires a level of reasoning infants aren't capable of.

    My way of handling it was to reserve the first 30 minutes home strictly for my son and nothing else. We'd nurse and cuddle and then I could get on with this that or the other thing while he watched from his high chair. Our house is laid out so that I was NEVER out of sight and that wasfine by him. And I'd skip that which wasn't needed to live until my husband was home to help.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:59 PM on Dec. 29, 2010

  • I am a single mom and do not have any help. I do give her 30 minutes when I get home too but she wants all of my time and it wears me down sometimes.
    Momma2Miranda

    Comment by Momma2Miranda (original poster) at 12:02 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • This is around the time that separation anxiety is at its worst. My LO is going through it, she is 8.5 months. I heard it will pass.
    jet360

    Answer by jet360 at 2:26 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • My 10 month old is just kind of getting over this phase. At least now if we are in the same room, he is ok. Your daughter is not fake crying for attention. She really just wants to be next to you. Have you tried holding her hands and walking with her? My son started to want to do that around then and is nearly walking now...maybe give that a try around the house. This phase is difficult because I feel like I get nothing done. But in the end, your child is only this small for a little bit and the housework will wait.
    khedy

    Answer by khedy at 10:05 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • "I am a single mom and do not have any help. I do give her 30 minutes when I get home too but she wants all of my time and it wears me down sometimes. "

    Want the real bad news? This is the least time consuming she'll be for many years! My son takes up more time now at age eleven years than he did at eight months. (Homework. I HATE homework.)

    You're doing the right things. Keep doing them.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:54 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I had this issues when my son was about 6 mo., I tried baby wearing for about a month, we where both happy and after a month her grow out of that phase
    lmt_mom2010

    Answer by lmt_mom2010 at 12:59 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

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