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Should I tell the parents?

Ok, my step daughter took one of her friends to her moms house where they went to a party, and the friend got really drunk and slept with someone she did not know. This girl is 16. My step daughter does not know that I know what happened I read a letter that my 2 year old gave me from my step daughters room. Do I tell the girls parents, who happen to be the assistant pastors of our church. Ugh!!!! Do I tell me step daughter I saw the letter?? I know the answer just need some imput.

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racefan88

Asked by racefan88 at 5:35 PM on Nov. 10, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • In my opinion some things are just better left unsaid- I certainly would not want to know my teenager is having sex and especially finding out from someone else (secondhand news is never good). I would however let your step daughter know how the letter came into your hands and take this opportunity to discuss safe sex and that you would prefer her to wait until marriage.
    candygirl1030

    Answer by candygirl1030 at 5:41 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I think you should tell. The girl needs to be counseled about possible STD's and birth control, and should be advised about the consequences of her actions. I agree that it is a good time to also talk to your daughter. I don't know if you need to mention how you found out. Just that it came to your attention, something like that.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:58 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I would DEFINITELY tell her parents! Would YOU want THEM to tell you if it happened to YOUR daughter? I'm sure that it would upset you and make you angry at first but most importantly it would wake you up to the fact that maybe it's time to introduce birth control and discuss safe sex practices more thoroughly with your daughter...they will be grateful to you in the long run.


    Early intervention is KEY to preventing pregnancy and STDs! I say let them know and let them know NOW before it happens again!


    Discussing safe sex with YOUR daughter and discussing BC may be a good idea. Even if you've had the talk before, it won't hurt to go over it again!

    AvasMommy810

    Answer by AvasMommy810 at 5:59 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • If the situation were reversed and it was your kid who slep with a stranger would YOU want that mother to tell you? There is your answer.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 6:16 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Absolutely tell, but don't tell your DD first. Go directly to the other girl's parents with the letter. Not only is their DD drinking, but she's having sex with strangers. They need to know how out of control she is in order to set the limits she needs.
    Kimebs

    Answer by Kimebs at 6:49 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I'd make sure you have the facts before saying anything, but for sure, tell the rents.
    the.deadly.mrs

    Answer by the.deadly.mrs at 7:10 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Many parents are in denial and telling them might not turn out like you think it would especially as they pastors. It just may not be a pretty picture.
    candygirl1030

    Answer by candygirl1030 at 7:45 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Hello, if your daughter has friends doing this could she be doing it too? I am not so sure I would talk to the parents but if this was my daughter we would be having some serious talks.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 8:10 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I wouldn't tell the parents. There are some t hings they need to know and other things that are better left unsaid. The drinking part is one thing but the sex part is another. At 16 what were you doing and how would you feel if your parents ever found out about it? Yes I would talk to your step daughter about what you read but at the same time a word of advice all because your two year old brings you something doesn't mean you have to read it.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 10:17 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • In response to bubblycute, it is your house, and you may read anything that you would like to. It is not invasion of privacy or anything else, I learned the hard way when I was a teenager about leaving things laying around and I believe that it is every parents right to read a note or go through a room, when they pay their own bills they can have their privacy. As for telling the parents, I believe that it should be done, but tastefully. Tell the parents that you have found a note written by their daughter regarding some things that took place while she was drunk. Maybe that will prevent a teenage pregnancy from happening.
    ConnersMom1204

    Answer by ConnersMom1204 at 10:34 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

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