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4 Bumps

is really upset!

Husband went out "with the guys" at 8:30 last night, but is still not home. I cannot call or family located him because he has turned his phone off. He has pulled 190 dollars out of our account and I have a sick feeling about this. What do I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:40 AM on Dec. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • Yikes... I'd say don't let this one fly... Thats messed up on al sorts of levels. I know the feeling, and im sorry youre going through this, When youre married you need to have an open and honest relationship and have GOOD communication.Not to mention he probably should have chosen to stay home with you and the kids rather than go out with the guys, once in a while is ok, we all need our escape, but to completely vanish and be unreachable is unnacceptable.. what if there was an emergency... And unless youre very well off (which who knows, you might be) 190 dollars (is an odd amount lol) and seems kind of steep for just a guys night out...

    Answer by RockerMomToTwo at 4:46 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • That's why I'm so nervous. I am not weel off and we have to move in a week. I keep watching the money dissapear :( he has to be to work in 4 hours!!! I don't understand.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:48 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Sorry for the mispelled words and for the typos. I am shaking so my fingers are not working too well.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:50 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • You should be furious. Has he ever done anything like this before?? When he decides to show up you kick his butt. How disrespectful of him. What would he do if the roles were reversed?? Im sry you're daling with this!

    Answer by randibosin at 5:02 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • He has several times. He told me he wanted to gain my trust back and he would be home no later than 11. Well guess what, he fooled me. I am so pissed right now :(

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:04 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I'd file a missing persons report with the police. Say you are worried that something bad may have happened, you have a bad feeling, money has been disappearing from the accounts. Give them the account records and go to sleep. They will track him and maybe even meet up with him at his job. Teach him a lesson, he'll be embarrassed if anything else, but he'll also realize that you were worried, hopefully.

    My SO went out partying one night when I was pregnant, I didn't know though, I thought he just went to his friends for a couple hours. Well after 5 hours I called the police. They found him at his friends house, he was too drunk to drive and since then I have never had another problem with him calling, checking in, being home on time. Because he realized I must have been really worried to call the police. Plus I didn';t want to be out at night pregnant.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 5:05 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I would do that, but he is in the army and that could ruin his career and he could lose rank. We can't afford that financially. Trust me I want to do that.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:08 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Is his command that messed up that if you call the cops cause you're worried about him he could lose his rank? Seems dumb to me.

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 5:28 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Ok, frankly, I would call his Sgt. Yes, he'll get in trouble, but he will get in a lot more trouble down the line if you don't. If you report him now, they're going to chew his butt, etc - but if he keeps up and you all are not able to pay bills, there isn't money for food, he ends up in an alcohol related incident, is UA from work (or goes in drunk / hung over), etc, because he's acting out of control, things are going to be MUCH worse.

    I don't know what paygrade he is, but honestly, if he's jr, then it's better to get busted now than later, and if he's senior, then he should know way better than this - that the military does NOT put up with that sort of example.

    (trust me on this - I'm prior military, have been an Ombudsman, and my dh is senior enlisted over 20 yrs in)

    Good luck! I'm so sorry you're going through this!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 6:00 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • His career won't be put in jeapordy unless he's drunk on duty which may be what you're worried about as he should have stopped drinking 8hrs prior to work. I would call the cops,... but that's me. If you don't want to then you need to sit down and have a serious talk as it sounds like he makes promises sober and acts differently when he starts drinking. Don't accept this behavior.

    Answer by Camilletnt at 6:02 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

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