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2 Bumps

Does living with a

boyfriend or girlfriend affect the custody of children? I am surprised by how many of the women on this site live with a boyfriend or their childs father lives with a girlfriend and they do not mention the affect on the child. I wonder if this affects the courts decision as to custody and visitation. I hope you understand what I am asking.


Asked by tootoobusy at 7:54 AM on Dec. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 52 (487,465 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • it def does my hubby and i only got married because his xwife went to jail and his daughter had to live with us in my house so to make long story short we had to do a quickie wedding in city hall before she could move in

    Answer by momofalltrades at 11:17 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I think as long as the person is not a criminal, it might not matter. The courts knew I was living with my now ex husband (this was before we were even engaged) when he was trying to get custody of his children and it was actually presented that I would be of help. My ex husband had on call responsibilities for his job and his family lived several hours away. His ex lived with her mother and they presented the fact that the mother was there. My ex was the one the court found more fit to have the children.

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:03 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Normally it doesn't matter. The courts don't get involved in living arrangements unless one of the parties makes an issue of it - and there has to be a good reason (abuse, criminal background, drugs) before they will even step in.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:35 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • only of you've lived together for so long that you're considered married under common law. I'd ask a lawyer to be sure.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 7:58 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • nope not for me anyways i got full custoday of my kids because ex wanted to only see them 2x a yr and wanted the car in the divorce instead of the kids sad but true

    Answer by pbjmom366 at 7:58 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • In my state, Florida, it doesn't make any difference. They say the ex is an adult and can do whatever they want, and it's really hard to prove that it's a problem for the child. Unfortunate. My son's ex lived with a succession of many men who often had prison records for drugs, and it didn't make any difference. He was living alone, never brought a woman for the child to meet till he was ready to get married. He later got custody because his wife went to jail for drugs. Only temporary, But several years went by and he did get full custody, only because she didn't show up in court, after they delayed the hearing twice because of her absence.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 8:42 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • as long as no abuse or any thing illegal is going on it does not have any effect

    Answer by justgrape723 at 8:37 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Unless the BF/GF/roomate is doing something illegal, dangerous, or abusive to the child, and it is brought up in court, it doesn't matter who you live with. And whatever they do in their own space, away from the child, not in a common area, can't be brought up in court. If you suspect that it may not be a good situation for your kid, you can bring it up in court, and they will investigate all the common areas of the house, interview who you live with, but you have to pay for it yourself...

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 11:46 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • momofalltrades, that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Somehow, I don't believe you.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 3:44 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I believe her. I have heard similar situations.

    Comment by tootoobusy (original poster) at 7:32 PM on Dec. 30, 2010