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MIL calling in the middle of the night to say that a loved one that she does not talk to is on their way to the hospital. WTH?

My husband was sleeping in bed and she calls to say that Uncle Tommy is spitting up blood , going to hospital. My hubby also answers the phone at the same time and then mil gets another and hangs up. She calls back but my hubby is asleep and she tells me it isn't looking good for the estranged uncle. First she does not want anything to do with him now she is calling us nonstop meanwhile I did not say anything to hubby in the morining. What should I do? I do not want to get caught in the middle.....UGH.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:27 AM on Dec. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Let your husband deal with his mother on this one.I agree with others here that just because there obviously were issues with the uncle and the rest of the family doesn't mean that he isn't still family and a human being.My dad died last week and I hadn't spoken to him in over 10 yrs he was abusive growing up..he was still my dad and human..and his health was in horrid shape not something i'd wish upon him.Best part is before he passed he finally made an admission of guilt and apologized for the past..

    leave it be to your husband!

    Answer by tnmomofive at 9:25 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • sounds like MIL is feeling some guilt
    usually when people get older and or are faced with death they tend to care more about people that they didn't care about before....especially when there is guilt involved

    Answer by justgrape723 at 8:40 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Why is he estranged? Sounds like maybe she feels guilty for not talking to him and now she will never be able to fix that. I would just tell your dh that she is calling and have him call her and talk to her.

    Answer by JamieLK at 8:32 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • When someone of your generation dies, it brings to mind that you are not immortal.She may also be having feels of guilt for the estrangement, wishing she had made amends. She is having a hard time dealing with it and needs support. I would be compassionate and help her through this obviously rough time she is having.

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:42 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • she is upset for whatever reason (since he is estranged?)
    but upset and reached out to talk to someone
    sounds like she has to figure it out
    why not let your husband??
    let him deal with her
    if this happened last night, maybe it will be more calm today

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:38 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Maybe she is upset because.... oh I don't know.... let me go out on a limb here.... because he is FAMILY?

    Jeez! I don't talk to my sister and brother often because of th elife choices they have chosen to make and have told them that, but if they were DIEING I would care.

    I would ask him if he wants to go see his Uncle and maybe make amends. Or just ask if he wants to go see him or call to check on him.

    The man is DIEING. Your husband needs to take a note from his mothers book and grow up and care and worry about his family.

    Answer by Memigen at 8:43 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Oh and I can only hope you told him that his mother said things aren't looking good. You took the call therefore it is your responsibility to notify him of the message.

    Answer by Memigen at 8:44 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • sometimes you don't talk to family because of a grudge or personal issues but when their lives are in danger your perspective changes and you realize your priorities were wrong. Maybe that is what happening with her.

    Answer by gottalovemal at 9:04 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • do nothing. if it bothers your dh that his mom called to tell him this bad news, let him handle it. its really not your place to handle your MIL, especially in this situation. obviously, even thought estranged, your MIL has unresolved issues concerning 'uncle tommy', and may need to work on them, and their relationship. this unsettling occurance with his health has turned on a switch in your MIL's mind/heart (?), and she reacted to it by calling her son.
    do nothing.

    Answer by dullscissors at 8:31 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I just called him Ladies. He said that he answered the phone but was very groggy and did not know what had happened. Sorry we got over 32 inches of snow and he had to plow for the town......

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:47 AM on Dec. 30, 2010