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What do you think the hardest part of a divorce is?

I feel like no one will want me now that I have a daughter. Some men may see is as baggage..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Dec. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • I'm not divorced, but having seen multiple divorces with kids involved (BIL, a friend, etc), it's seeing the kids schlepped back & forth and being fought over and all that stuff.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • The worst part is exactly what anon posted. I have to say making sure both parties work in the best interest of the child is the hardest. We usually are fighting with each other and forget there are little people who didnt do anything to deserve what they are going through.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:21 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • The effect it has on the kids.
    christy_lvr

    Answer by christy_lvr at 11:21 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I never worried about finding another relationship; I figured that anyone my age had likely been married and/or had children.

    The hardest part for me was figuring out how to be "me" after being married for 13 years. Making all of the "life" decisions on my own was a little daunting. (Career, bills, etc.)
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:21 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Bless your heart. Know that many have gone through what you are going through and let your faith keep you strong. Your daughter needs tyou more than ever (you didn't mention how old she is but divorce impacts the children as much as it does the adults.) My prayers will be with you. DO NOT feel like you or your daughter are BAGGAGE. There is someone special out there you will meet who will fall in love with you and your daughter. I know as it happened to me. And my hew husband adopted my daughter as soon as he was allowed to! Good luck to you. Write if you ever need a friend to talk to, my younger daughter also has gone through what you are going through only she has a medically challenged 5 yr old son. So we both can understand what you are going through! My older daughter too - her husband turned up missing and after 5 yrs she divorced him. Now she is remarrying and her fiance plans on adopting her two children as well.
    horsegal2760

    Answer by horsegal2760 at 11:21 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Learning to live again... living alone again... and seeing your kids without 2 parents, that was the worst for me. But I got over that REAL quick lol. You will be ok with time, good luck to you and your daughter. Any good man will not see you as baggage, they will see you for the person you are and take your daughter in as their own, and remember, I said GOOD man. :0)

    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 11:22 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Then again some men see it as a family so never think of it in the negative

    The hardest part for me was the money. My x wouldn't pay cs and it was always a struggle to keep the kids fed and a roof over their head
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:23 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Wow... that's an astonishing leap.

    Many men may well see your daughter as baggage --but you won't see them, if you don't agree.

    I don't know if you've noticed in your life, you attract and notice people who agree with you.. not what you think you should believe, but what you genuinely believe, and how you genuinely live --not how you'd like people to think you live.

    Many men see motherhood itself as baggage --but you would not have married someone who didn't want children at all, would you? So, why would any of those characters populate your romantic future now?

    Many men see divorce as baggage, too. So?

    The worst part of divorce, imo, is conceding to the ludicrous belief that marriage (or any other person on the planet) can 'make' you happy, so if you're not happy you should move on. Happiness does not lie down that road, in fact that road only travels away from happiness. It's a compelling idea, though, isn't it?
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:23 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • That will help you weed out the men that aren't right. If they see your daughter as baggage, then they are gone. I do remember having those feelings too, so I do understand how it feels. A divorce makes you feel broken and less worthy, but when you get to the point you can put it behind you and really move on and do something positive with your life you'll be stronger. GL!
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 11:23 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Thanks a lot everyone! I am hoping if it comes to divorce, we can be civil for our daughter's sake.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:23 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

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