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2 Bumps

fancy dress for daughter's second wedding or not

my older daughter is getting married for the 2nd time nov 2011. She wants me to get one of the mother of the bride's outfits from her bridal store or a similar one. My husband and I can not really afford the $150-200 mom dresses they sell. I found a perfect brand new pantsuit in her color scheme at Goodwill and it only cost me $22. It is a work type pant suit, classic looking without being dressy. I am afraid she will be mad that I can not afford a fancy dress. The wedding is taking place on a cruise ship and she is wearing the traditional long gown and the men in tuxes. Am I wrong in not buying a fancy outfit? I dont want to ruin her wedding by wearing an off the street outfit but finances are really tight and she does know that...

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horsegal2760

Asked by horsegal2760 at 11:27 AM on Dec. 30, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 12 (780 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • You're not wrong.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:28 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I'm with you. I think you are wise. I'm getting married and I'm looking in consignment stores and wherever for my bridal suit. I'm not paying big bucks for something I'll wear once.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:29 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • You could have found something nicer at ross. Without spending 200.00
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • While you're not wrong, you do have some time. There is almost a year. IF you can, try to set back 5 or 10 dollars a week or more. Then, a few weeks before the wedding, you can get something nice from JC Penney, or where ever. Also, one of those dresses, you can actually wear more than once.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 11:32 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Your not wrong at all. She shouldn't get mad just because you can't afford the dress and if she does maybe she will offer to pay for it.
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 11:37 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • If you really can't come up with the money, then you are doing what is right for you. If your daughter is mad then she is not behaving like a mature adult. If you wearing a dress is important to her and you want to do it for her then try to find a cheaper option or start saving now; you have 11 months, so even saving $15 per month would give you $165 to spend on a dress.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 11:38 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I think you need to dress appropriate for the situation. It doesn't make a difference if it is the first wedding or the fifth. You should take your cue and celebrate it as your daughter is. I think dressing completely inappropriate for the situation will reflect poorly on you, since your daughter is wishing to honor you as her mother at the wedding. I understand not being able to afford $200 for a dress, but that is no excuse to just buy a new work suit instead. You can let your daughter know that money is an issue with the dress. Ask her to keep her eye open for something appropriate, but cheaper than the $200 price tag. You could always ask friends or relatives and see if they have something appropriate they could loan you. The money is not so much the issue and being appropriately dressed is.
    fancyjane

    Answer by fancyjane at 11:41 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I don't think you're wrong for not being able to afford an expensive dress, but to me it sounds like (and I could be wrong) that because it's a 2nd wedding that you don't feel the need to be formal. It seems like your daughter wants you to be as into the wedding as she is and be the mother of the bride (excited, happy, proud). I understand you got a good deal on the pants suit, but I would keep looking for something more formal.

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 11:52 AM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Youer not wrong.because she should have known that you have already piad for one exspensive dress for her first wedding.for a second you should dress down and second it on a cruise ship
    tinamarie1972

    Answer by tinamarie1972 at 12:01 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I think you did the right thing. She doesn't even need to know where it came from.
    MommyH2

    Answer by MommyH2 at 12:16 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

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