Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

OMG! my mother is driving me nuts!

so my mother just called me to inform me that my 5 yr old told her last night that he doesn't want to come home b/c my husband hits him on his legs when he puts him to bed.
my husband is his step father. he has put my son to bed maybe 4 times in the 2 1/2 yrs we have been together. he has in the past spanked him on his butt, but never anywhere else!
i think my mother is feeding these ideas to him. or my son is just making it up to be able to stay at grandmas.
i think he doesn't want to come home bc he is bored. i just had a baby and she takes some time, and i am cleaning or doing laundry other times, and me and my son have time together as well. i don't understand this.
my son has told me numerous times he wants to go live with my parents. he says he hates this house.
i understand that he gets bored, and he wants to be at my mothers bc she gives him her undevided attemtion the whole time he is there, but why is he making these things up about my husband?

and i know for a fact my husband is not hitting him in anyway that is not appropriate to a punishment for his misbehavior.
my mother has said before she thinks my husband beats him, but my son never has any marks or bruises on him, and i am a stay at home mom. im here all the time with both of them together. and if i do leave 9 out of 10 times he goes with me.
i just don't get it.
anyone else had this problem?

Answer Question
 
mama2bof2

Asked by mama2bof2 at 12:24 PM on Dec. 30, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 17 (3,326 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • sounds like you might need to limit the amount of time your son spends along with your mom before she starts something that blows up in your face. )c:
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 12:25 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • hmm maybe you need to get your kid back and limit gma time till she can quit influnceing that kinda talk
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 12:26 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I think the situation your in sucks....but really, you should be the one to discipline your son and NOT his step father. He'll resent the fact that your letting someone who is NOT HIS FATHER spank him AT ALL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • hes only been there alot this week b/c they have off of school. about 4 months ago, she was going around telling people that she thinks hubby beats my son, and i had her thrown out of my house by the police. she told them he was being abused and the cops laughed at her. im so sick of it!
    mama2bof2

    Comment by mama2bof2 (original poster) at 12:27 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • sorry but I think step dad is out of line for spanking son, that is your job only. Maybe he is afraid of him
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • never had that problem with myself but have seen it with others... it could be do to the new baby and the fact that it's his step dad not his really dad... it will take some time my mother was the same way with my sister.... what they need to do is go in with an open mind and see the full picture... so i think you need to talk to your son before he tells this to the wrong person.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 12:29 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • anon- he is the only father he has known. he doesn't know that he isn't his bio dad. hes never met or seen his real dad. so i don't think that is likely to happen. but ya never know. also he doesn't always discipline him. he works all day every day and im home, so i do most of it.
    mama2bof2

    Comment by mama2bof2 (original poster) at 12:29 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • No, but you need to have a serious conversation with your mother. If your husband isn't harming your child (and you sound very positive that he isn't) then her accusations could get your child taken away from you. You also will need to have a more delicate conversation with your son about when it's ok to tell stories and when it isn't. When your husband is home, make an effort to hand the baby over to him and spend as much extra one on one time with your son as possible....that might help with his feeling a little left out.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 12:29 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • You might consider having a family meeting with your husband, son and mother to clear the air. With you sitting there, maybe your son will fess up. It sounds as if you are the one spending most of the time with your son, so you would know whether or not he is being abused. You could also try a no hitting rule in your house so that everyone knows that nobody is hitting anybody. There are other ways to discipline a child that work very well.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 12:29 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Please take care of this I had issues with my mom and it ended badly.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:34 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN