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3 Bumps

my husband cheated on me how do i move past it

 
sweettroy43

Asked by sweettroy43 at 1:52 PM on Dec. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (35 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (32)
  • WOW! First and foremost I AM SO SO SO SORRY! I could never image what you are going through right now. You need to figure out what is best for you and your family. If you think he will be faithful and hes sorry for what he has done and you think you could forgive him than do. If not, then get a divorce and move on with your life. Honestly, I know I couldn't never continue a relationship with my husband if he cheated. I don't have to strength to forgive and forget. GOOD LUCK!!

    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 1:57 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • KICK IS ASS TO THE CURB

    Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:52 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • first i would kick his ass, then i would throw all his stuff out in the snow!!!...
    JazzyJes

    Answer by JazzyJes at 1:56 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • hugsso sorry you have to go through this but only ypou can decide...go with your heart

    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 2:01 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • What Linda said.... no one can make your decisions for you. Weigh the reasons, the good the bad and the ugly and figure out if you want this for your life.
    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 1:53 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Decide if you want to be in the relationship - if HE is committed, etc and then make a wise decision together. Mistakes can be forgiven but it's hard work to rebuild trust - though it's NOT impossible. Weigh it out and go forward.

    Best of luck, sorry you're in such a difficult situation. :(
    AAAMama

    Answer by AAAMama at 1:57 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • 5th: Once he moved home we really started rebuilding our marriage. We worked damn hard to build a marriage together that we were/are both happy, fulfilled, satisfied, appreciated, respected and loved. This took a ton of work, and a few years to accomplish. We had to has out ever single issue we had with each other and our marriage (from before he cheated and after). We had to learn how to communicate affectively. We had to learn how to show each other love/respect/appreciation..etc.. everyday. We had to learn how to keep love and romance alive in our marriage. We had to learn how to be better people which in turn led us to being a better husband/a better wife.

    We have now been married 25 years. I have never, not once, regretted giving my husband a 2nd chance. I can honestly say that we have a better marriage today, than we had before he cheated. Our marriage was awful during that time period, it's amazing now.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:16 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I would first go to counseling for you and you alone. You need to be strong and have a high self esteem before you can really look at your marriage and where you want it to go. Then when YOU feel strong again start couples counseling and see where that leads to. Good luck!! I am sorry you have to go through this but be strong and you will make it through and be in a better place after it all.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 2:24 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Reconciling and rebuilding can not and will not work if only 1 person is putting in the effort. Only one putting in the effort is a half hearted attempt that will do nothing but cause more resentments and hurt feelings in the long run.

    In order to reconcile and rebuild a marriage, BOTH partners have to:
    1) Be willing to be completely open & honest with each other in regards to: ALL issues/problems in the marriage that they have. From both BEFORE the cheating happened and After.
    2) BOTH have to be willing to give 100% of themselves to addressing and rectifying those problems. Working together to bring about solutions that BOTH can live happily with. Working together to bring about compromises BOTH can live happily with.
    3) Total openness and honesty from here on out must be required. Period.
    4) Communication must always be open and honest.
    5) The cheater broke trust/respect they must work to EARN it back.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:38 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • well i found out the day befor my b-day oct 25 he cheated on me with his best friends wife..we went over there and she said it didt happen god i wanted to kill her..we are still together we are workin to change but i still think about what he did he said he dont know why he did it..i just want this pain to go away ....its hard to sleep with him at times cause i dont know if he touch her the way he is touchin me we have 4 kids well 2 r not his ..we been together for 9 yrs..i just dont know how to move past this
    sweettroy43

    Comment by sweettroy43 (original poster) at 1:57 PM on Dec. 30, 2010