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what should i do

okay i used to be best friends with this girl.her grandfather was like her only family.she was raised by her grandmother and grandfather. her grandmother passed away when she was 13 and she is 23 now.so the last tens years hes all she had. well he passed away earlier today. ive known this man the majority of my life. he is friends with my family and he attended our church. the reason me and the girl arent friends anymore is because me and her bf got into a fight and he hit me. i pressed charges and had him arrested. i havent spoken to her since and that was like 4 yrs ago. my question is would itbe wrong for me to attend the funeral. keepin mind i have alot of respect for her grandfatherand he has done a lot for me. i just saw this past thursday. i dont want to start anything or make this already hard time for her anymore difficult by me being there. i really feel i should attend but should i?

Answer Question
 
hunters_mom820

Asked by hunters_mom820 at 7:06 PM on Nov. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Follow your heart.you are going out of respect for him.It may be what it takes to start mending your friendship again.If you don't go,you will probaly regret it.good luck.
    Val504

    Answer by Val504 at 7:11 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I think you should go and pay your respects. Maybe it will break the ice for you and your friend. Approach her tell her your sorry for her loss and tell her that you had great respect for her grandfather and you just wanted to pay your respect but if she feels uncomfortable with you there then you will leave. you may be suprised.
    desperateat48

    Answer by desperateat48 at 7:11 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I wouldn't but I'd send flowers or make a donation if that was the request
    Allysmom11

    Answer by Allysmom11 at 7:12 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I COMPLETLY agree with desperateat48... Also, you may regret not going if you decide to let what happened stop you from paying your respects!!! :O) Good luck
    DandyL

    Answer by DandyL at 7:15 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • I think u should go i mean yeah u 2 had a past but u were her friend and close 2 this man u should for sure go let go of the past c through it! u can do it
    butterscotch297

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 7:15 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • ALSO...........her bf will be there they have 3 kids together
    hunters_mom820

    Answer by hunters_mom820 at 7:16 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Knowing the He will be there with their children maybe sending flowers with a letter or card giving them your condolences would be more appropriate. Then when he is laid to rest you can go on your own to visit and say goodbye!! I don't know, thats a tuffy!!
    DandyL

    Answer by DandyL at 7:20 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • i think if he's is not a relative or closer then you described that you shouldn't go. it's her very special grandpa and she would be very upset. maybe not at you but her bf might get on her case about you having the nerve to show up. then she would get upset that you brought another thing to make her life miserable on top of her grandfather dying. i think for her sake if you are truly friends i wouldn't go. i would send the flowers and a card. she might ask you to go after all. the grandfather is dead he won't care at his point who shows up. really. he will know your heart. so if it's just to be seen there by others then i don't think it's a great idea.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 8:01 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • i think she was wrong for not backing you up. If you knew him personally then i would go.
    bubblebean

    Answer by bubblebean at 8:37 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • You could always call her cell or something first. Tell her that you are sorry for her loss, and you would like to pay your respects to someone that you both loved so dearly. I would also tell her that you understand if she would be uncomfortable with you there and that you would like to send flowers anyway. Hopefully it will break the ice before you show up there. Maybe it would give her a little bit of time. Good luck!
    crystac

    Answer by crystac at 9:37 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

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