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I have been having a really hard time with my daughter, she is 2.5 and defiant. Battling her for 2+ hours on nap time and bed time. She has ruined our furniture by drawing on it. If both parents are home, I have to everything. She tells me what she wants for dinner, I make it and then she demands something different. I am at my wits end with patience.

Any ideas on how to turn my 2 years old around so I can keep my sanity? I work out of the home and my husband and I work opposite schedules, so really I am a single mother 6 nights a week. How do I get her to realize that 2+ hours of battling me to take a nap or go to bed is pointless?

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NikkiT81

Asked by NikkiT81 at 3:32 PM on Dec. 30, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I say a good spank is in order
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 3:33 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Who is the mommy here? It sounds like she is. You let her decided what to eat, what to do, when to go to bed.

    Quit enabling her. You be the mom. She does what you say when you say. She eats what you tell her to. I give 2 choices, she is allowed to choose only between those choices. If she doesn't eat after that, then she can wait until the next meal.
    As for bedtime, you decide what time is bedtime. if she gets up, take her back. Do not have a conversation about it, do not give in to "I want___", take her back each time. It's a battle of wills. You have allowed her to do what she wants and to run the house, you will have to get control back and it will be touch. It will take time but don't give in or it will just go back to what it was.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 3:36 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • *tough*
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 3:37 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Simply lay down the law, and apply it. All 3 of mine go to bed when I say it is time- and always have because they knew I wouldn't take their crap.
    By the way, why are you letting her tell you what to make? WTF?
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:37 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I will rephrase what I meant about her telling me what she wants. I do give her 2 choices such as Oatmeal or Chicken Nuggets and I will make the one she chooses, but then she refuses and asks for the other choice. Can I honestly put my kid to bed hungry? You all make it sound so simple.......Not trying to throw myself a pity party here and say that I am not blessed, because I am, but this hasn't been easy.
    NikkiT81

    Comment by NikkiT81 (original poster) at 3:42 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Don't battle to her. Put her down to sleep and leave her in her room or cod. Let her cry or scream. She will find out after a time it is not a way to get attention. IF she draw on something make her clean it up. Don't make a scene, don't give her attention. Just show her that you are sad because of her action. But do not pick her up, do not raise your voice, just be silent, give her the cleaning up stuff (cloths, wet wipes). If she doesn't get attention she will stop doing those things. If you start to ignore winging and crying, she will stop doing it. If she doesn't eat her food than don't give her something else. If she will be hungry she will eat. You just have to be firm and keep it in mind that you do this for her sake as well. Does she go to a daycare anyway? If you need to talk about with someone, send me an email:)

    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 3:43 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • you have created a monster it sounds like. Your the mom stand up and be the mom she needs to go to bed when you say if she gets up then take her back with out talking to her just keep putting her back. at meal times she eats what you make or she doesnt eat kids wont starve themselfs promise. just keep following through and she will catch on that shes not getting away with it anymore.
    Jaxsmommy09

    Answer by Jaxsmommy09 at 3:43 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Don't give her choices,, this type of child need strong rules and parenting - my son is the same way.. I can't give an inch or he takes 50 miles.. Make string firm never breaking rules - take away markers and crayons or have one spot she can use them only and take them away - be VERY consistent and don't give in - she will get soon that you mean business - let her make smaller decisions like what she wants to wear -or which socks - or bubbles or no bubbles in the bath - things like that
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:49 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Start watching "SuperNanny" and you'll get the visual example of what most of the posters here are telling you. You need to step up and be the mom and not let her run the show. Do it NOW or you're going to have a real monster on your hands when she's a teenager.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 3:52 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Yep, you can put her to bed hungry. And you don't have to give her any choices. She's a kid...a toddler, you are the mother. You cook what you want for dinner. If you are nice enough to offer her a choice then cook that and if she refuses to eat it then too bad for her. She won't starve. All of my kids tried to pull that crap and after a couple nights of going to bed hungry they learned to eat what was served. That was for every meal. If they did it with lunch then the lunch they refused to eat was their dinner. There were no snacks or treats until they ate their meal.
    As for naps...maybe she's done with them. My oldest stopped taking one when she turned 2. I required her to spend 1 hour of quiet time in her room, though, while her younger siblings napped. Bedtime is still a battle for me so I won't comment on that, lol (we're always working on it). You are letting her be in control and that has to stop.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 3:56 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

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