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Custody question

My son is 17 months old. His father and I are not married but were engaged to be married and no longer are together. I am/have been a stay at home mom all my son's life. My x works/ed full time. I live in Indiana. Will I most likely get full-custody or are courts now swinging towards joint custody? We live in the same town but I'd be willing to move to make sure he does not get joint custody. Would the fact that my x has been arrested before, gotten a DUI, and currently smokes pot have any effect on the case?

I would just like opinions please or fact from someone who has been in a similar situation.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on Dec. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • With the background that your ex has your chances for full custody are a lot greater. However you need to prove that he is unfit and that you are financially capable of raising him aside from child support. Laws are diff everywhere so Id talk to a lawyer for further/better advice GL

    Answer by Steph319 at 5:53 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • They will only think about joint custody if he wants it. If not you will more than likely get full custody and he will get 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend visitation. Don't move it will just create more drama.

    Answer by aheuszel at 6:02 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • If you just up and move... YOU could end up losing custody due to parental interference and refusing to support and encourage a healthy relationship with the other parent. Joint is basic. That does not define the amt. of time the child spends at each parents out although most START at EOW and 1 night a week.
    The fact that he had a DUI etc.etc. doesn't do much b/c all that happened before and you still had a child with him. your CHILD has the RIGHT to know and love BOTH his parents.
    It's not about you and your rights as a mother its about the child and their RIGHT to know both their parents.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 6:58 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • THey would have to prove he's not fit, or else he will probably get joint custody if he wants it. The only thing that would mess him up is currently smoking pot if they can prove it. A past DUI is not going to show him being unfit. Good luck to you!

    Answer by genagina at 5:51 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • You'd have to prove all of this, but in most cases the parents get joint custody. There has to be a good reason for the courts to give one parent full custody. Also making sure you know there is a difference between sole custody and full custody. You most likely will not get full legal custody, but maybe full physical.

    Once again, you have to be able to PROVE everything that you're saying without a doubt. I don't suspect that if he's only been arrested once for a DUI with no major criminal acts under his belt that can be proven to a court that they won't make you two split custody. If he's been physically violent towards someone and has been arrested, that's an entirely different ball park. GL

    Answer by Razelda at 5:53 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • If I moved out of state would that increase my chances of full custody?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:57 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • No, it would probably create a mess. you and him having to drive hours to pick up and drop off your child.

    Answer by genagina at 5:59 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • No, that'd just make things worse for you... and it'd look VERY bad on you too. You know you're split up, you know the trouble it would cause.

    You'd still have to give him visitation and then you'd have to split the costs of travel. You'd both either drive and meet in the middle and exchange the kid, or you'd have to take turns driving to each others houses to do the exchange.

    Your child would not benefit from this scenario. It would make things 100x worse.

    Answer by Razelda at 6:02 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • If you move out of state to try and stop him from seeing the kid as much it will back fire.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 6:02 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • If I moved out of state would that increase my chances of full custody?

    In NJ where I live you can take your child out of state before any court drama starts. However if your ex wants his child back in the state you have to do it by law and could get charged with kidnapping if you dont return within the required time. If you want to move then try it and see how he reacts. maybe he wont give a crap. If he does then go from there. Just dont get comfortable with your new life in case you have to go back

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:03 PM on Dec. 30, 2010