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4 Bumps

do you think planned preganancy is bad?

im a little confused here i had a conversation with my neighbor 2 hours ago its just been on my mind and we were talking about my miscarriage i had on December 6th and well this is how it went

Julie(neighbor):after your miscarriage how were you feeling i mean did you ever think you didn't want anymore kids

me:at first i did think that it had me all shook up and the grieving process is just a roller coaster for me i haven't really gotten over its just i try to keep myself busy so that i wont brake down

julie:so do you want anymore kids,?

me:well see my last pregnancy wasn't planned so i really wasn't expecting it but im 26 so in a bout 2 or 3 more years i PLAN to have anther 1 i always wanted 3 kids i just wanted to be prepared for my third 1 i want to be a bit more stable,like i want another degree and i want to own house,and my husband will be finished with school so he will be home more and not just in and out and we will just be more stable

julie:plan?Wow that is crazy baby's are surprises and im totally against planned pregnancy if its meant to happen it will i just think planned pregnancy is for people with no patients it will happen when its meant everything happens for a reason &for you to plan a pregnancy to me it seems as if your just trying to cover up your baby that you miscarried it seems like that's the only reason your planning im totally against it

^^am i the only 1 confused here?i felt like she attacked me for saying i plan to have another baby//

Answer Question

Asked by LABELmeCUTE at 6:39 PM on Dec. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,951 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Everyone seems to have something to say about how you should live your life. Ignore them and do what makes you happy:)

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 6:41 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • doesn't sound like a very good friend. friends are supposed to be supportive...

    people plan babies, people have surprise babies and so on... there is no wrong answer when you're married.

    Answer by Katie80620 at 6:44 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I feel that getting pregnant, or planning on when to get pregnant is a personal choice, and the only people who should be in agreement about it is the 2 involved. It is nobody else's business if you plan your pregnancies or if you have a surprise. You need to do what you feel is best for you/your family/your life-- whether it be to plan when to get pregnant, or to be surprised.

    Answer by MizLee at 6:53 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • No, I think it's called being responsible!

    Answer by genagina at 6:53 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • OMG! She really said this? I think I really could hit her (joke(ish) after her last sentences. How she dare to judge or say something like this to you after a miscarriage? It is totally heartless and anyway it is non of her business. I think people who actually have a plan for having a baby are really lucky because babies do come like surprises and most of the time the people are not ready so there are so many challenged behaviour children, and damaged families. And I totally agree with worried mommy600.


    Answer by adriennfaklya at 6:56 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Ummm....well, she sounds like a terrible "friend." You just want to be able to properly provide for your family. And you know, these days with birth control.......babies aren't surprises like the used to be. I have an IUD, so any pregnancy would definitely have to be planned, so that I would go get the IUD removed. When someone is responsibly used contraception, usually pregnancy doesn't happen. I would ignore anything this person has to say in the terrible saying you're trying to cover up your baby. And she's totally against it? I would have laughed in her face and asked when I asked for her permission!!!! I'm sorry, she sounds like a total ass and I would no longer be friends with her.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 6:59 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • *using

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 6:59 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • your neighbor is
    on drugs (or should be)
    on a serious note
    sorry for your loss

    Answer by fiatpax at 6:59 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I do think your neighbor is a little insane. I think that some people like babies to be surprises, some people like to plan them. You should do what you think is best for you and your family.

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 7:08 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I think people judge you for the opposite more really. I think that people look down on unplanned pregnancys a lot. We dont consider our babies planned, but they werent unplanned either, we werent using anything, and knew it would happen sometime, and were ready when it did, but werent going through all the trouble of actually trying to have one. I think its great either way, unless you really dont want one then you really need to take extra precautions, but I dont like to judge, babies get here when they are supposed to. Although my sister is a little bit of an overplanner, her and her husband have it planned that they wont try certain months because they want the baby at a certain time of year. I think its a little crazy, but she is funny that way.

    Answer by -LovingMamma- at 7:10 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

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