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8 Bumps

Should things be "fair" between kids and their parents?

As in if the parents are watching TV should the children then be allowed to watch also (say in another room if what the parents are watching isn't appropriate) or should the parents not watch TV if they don't allow the kids to watch?

If the parents drink soda should they have to give their kids one, too? Or just not drink/eat anything they wouldn't allow their kids to have?

I've gotten the impression on this site that this is the new parenting trend...fairness and that adults should completely change their lives to suit their kids so it will be fair.

Answer Question
 
justanotherjen

Asked by justanotherjen at 6:45 PM on Dec. 30, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 26 (28,174 Credits)
Answers (46)
  • Well if you tell your kids one thing and do another, they're going to think whatever you're doing is okay. And it's more apt that they would develop that habit later in life anyways. But yes I find it hard to tell my daughter, no you can't have a pop while I'm drinking one, that doesn't seem right to me.
    genagina

    Answer by genagina at 6:46 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • When I drink soda, I tell my daughter soda is a grown-up's drink...She's fine with it. So, I'll give her water, juice or milk instead.

    When it comes to watching something that is inappropriate for children, my husband and I save those movies for when the kids are asleep for the night.
    Katie80620

    Answer by Katie80620 at 6:50 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • No. I live a "do as I say,not as I do" life
    If what I'm doing is legal and does not hurt the family dynamic,I will continue to do it. I drink soda,my son is not allowed to have it.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:55 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • i don't think that way. i'm actually sitting here drinking a soda...and just told my dd she can't have it. but i gave her some juice...doesn't bother me a bit. and there are times i tell my kids to go play in their room while i'm watching a show/movie. i see nothing wrong with having them doing something active while i'm doing laundry and watching a show or whatever. i'm looking out for their best interest, and at this age (they're 2 and 3) they don't need a pepsi, or to watch too much tv. when they're older, i may change it up a bit and let them drink a sip here and there, watch a bit more tv or something, but it's all in their best interest really. they may not understand it now, but when they grow up, they'll do the same thing. i've never seen it any other way really. not first hand.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 6:55 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Nope. My son does what I say fair or not cuz I get to be mom.
    LOL
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:59 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • When the kids start to pay the mortgage, thats when things should be fair. Until that time, you are the boss, they need that from you.
    cerealmom2

    Answer by cerealmom2 at 7:05 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • My personal opinion.

    It is impossible to be "fair" in regards to things between a parent and a child. There is no fairness in this relationship to begin with, one is in charge, one is the person in charge of the household one is not. How can there be fairness when one is in charge of the other and make the majority of their life decisions until they are grown.

    Fairness does not truly exist in life or relationship. Ultimately what is fair for one, is unfair for the other. What is just for one is unjust for the other. There is no way to achieve across the board uniform "fairness" in regards to interpersonal relationships.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 7:09 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • You are the parent... child has no rights. If he wants to get a full time job and pay the bills, he can have rights...

    well, then again, then I'd make him get his own place! You control all the cards Mom.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 7:09 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I always told me kids that life is not fair. I told them soda was an adult drink. They never questioned till they were teens and then they got one a week. I know that soda is emplty calories and they need to be drinking milk, juice and water. Sometimes there was something on tv that I didn't want them to watch, so they didn't get to watch it. I was their parent, not their friend. There's nothing wrong with them learning that there are things they can't have and can't do. It's an important lesson to learn if they are going to grow up as law abiding adults. Just because they want something doesn't mean they need it. There are some what I call child run households where the child calls the shots, but those parents aren't doing their children any favors by the way they are raising them.

    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 7:14 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Nope. I survived childhood and now I get to do as I want. When my children are adults than they get do what they want. Now, I will allow my girls to go in my room (boys are too rough and nosey) to watch TV if what I am watching in the living room is "boring." I don't watch inappropriate stuff when they are awake.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 7:26 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

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