Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

is it normal to feel like my baby is not mine?

I had a c-section but the docs had to put me to sleep. & ever since I saw my baby for the 1st time, I can't help but to feel like she's not my baby. Could it be because I didn't see her come outta me?

Answer Question
 
nora_flores

Asked by nora_flores at 8:02 PM on Dec. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I would discuss this with your Dr.
    L0vingMy3Girls

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 8:03 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • It could be the start of post partum depression. I would talk to your doctor about how you are feeling.
    sheloveearth

    Answer by sheloveearth at 8:08 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I would say that it's not normal. I knew the moment I saw my DD that she was mine no matter what. I too had a C-Section. I was awake though.
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 8:09 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • You will feel like she is yours eventually. I went through the same exact thing. I wasnt put to sleep but had a csection. All of a sudden after nine months I was handed "this baby". It was the strangest feeling in the world and I was so numb to everything. Literally a week later I was happy and so infatuated. If your feelings last longer than a few weeks then Id talk to your dr. You may need antidepressents. But IMO its normal what youre going through. Not everyone embraces their child as their own and cries when they first hold them. You need to build a relationship with them as you would anyone else. Love comes naturally and you just havent gotten to the point of realization. Its still so surreal. If you need to talk then pm me!
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:11 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I agree with the others. You might be suffering from Post Partum Depression. This can be severe and very difficult. Please speak with your doctor. You may need a little something to help you in these first few months. I had a c-section, however I was awake and my husband was there. I KNOW my daughter is my daughter, but at the same time, I'm sure your daughter is yours too. Best wishes.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 8:11 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • This happened to me too. I took care of my son while my husband was at work, but I did it because I HAD to, not because I felt any connection to him. I couldn't bond and was extremely frustrated because I was trying to breastfeed and I kept getting infections. My midwife scheduled a few extra visits with me to help me cope and she finally suggested to my husband that he just buy some formula and get me to feed him with that instead of forcing myself to pump and nurse because all it was doing was stressing me out and I was obsessed with it. So, eventually, I came around to the idea of formula and it really helped me relax and I was able to enjoy my son. Also, it helped me to just lay my son down in his crib and sit down in another room...I'd say by the time he was 6 months I felt a bond and didn't feel so trapped.
    erinwhitt

    Answer by erinwhitt at 8:16 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I'm sorry, I mean to say I felt the same way, I didn't have a c-section, though.
    erinwhitt

    Answer by erinwhitt at 8:17 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • And I felt the same way about not actually seeing my dd coming out of me. But now Ive come to realize that it was all hormonal. Since my issue only lasted a week it was considered baby blues but to me it was far worse. I know that the next baby I have, I will talk to the dr about poss med so I can enjoy his/her birth
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:23 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I didn't want my babies to be away from me because I wanted to be sure they were mine and insisted they weren't taken out of my sight. I was worried with my first that I might have problems and it was one of the reasons I wanted to breastfeed. When my grandson was born one of us was always with him to make sure he was ours. I think movies and stories about people getting the wrong baby can make us worry that something bad could happen. It may take a blood test to make you accept your baby.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:12 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN