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My recent ex asked to join the kids and I at our new house for New Year's Eve. What should I say?

We've been separated since Thanksgiving week, because he said that our 11.5 year relationship was going nowhere, and that he hated me sometimes. While I'm definitely not perfect, I was hanging in there I thought through the rough times. Lots of drunk nites (him, not me) later and ugly arguments, I finally decided to take me and the children to a more friendly and healthy environment. Ex and I have been on one lunch date since, where he didn't want to talk about us or our family and what we need to do. But since, he initiates phone calls and texts. I still love him, but in order for us to a family again, he has to come "correct".

Answer Question

Asked by lostlemonade at 8:36 PM on Dec. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (115 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • If you feel like it would be good for the kids, I'd say yes. But only if you think you can be polite to each other. If you think it will lead to an argument, I'd say no. I'd also say no if you think it's just a booty call.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 8:39 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • You are separated for a reason. Just be smart in you choice.

    Answer by Noosa at 8:49 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • This is a question that will involve your feelings, and childrens. I would meet somewhere for a dinner for all of you. See how it goes. Go in seperate cars, and no sex. Tell him you want to go slow. Sounds like he hurt you before. You and children do not need that.

    Answer by PA-PAGrandma at 8:51 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • i think you should if you feel its in your and your kids best interest. but if u think he's ggoing to get rowdy and drunk then maybe you shouldn't do it. just talk to him and see what his intentions on coming back are and use your best judgment to see what you should do.

    Answer by Smiles0305 at 9:55 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Why not let him spend time with his kids? The fact that he initiates contact says a lot.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 3:26 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Thanks everyone, the answer was given to me - went to go pick him up and the battery on my car was dead - go figure! I will take everyone's advice for any future invitations, however.

    Comment by lostlemonade (original poster) at 5:47 PM on Dec. 31, 2010

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