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How Can I get My mom 2 be part of my baby's life?

My mom was never supportive of my pregnancy. As soon as i found out i was prego i left. My mom isn't in my daughters life hardly at all sometimes she will got months without seeing her. She came over a while back and my baby was playing on the floor and she was like looks like shes gonna be crawling soon and i told her she has been crawling for like 3 months! My bf mom was very supportive and was there for me for everything but sadly she died 6 days before i had her from cancer. my baby has no grandma! and i've tried everything 2 make my mom understand she should be here with her but all she does is make excuses shes 2 tired or is 2 busy but she goes by our place everyday and never stops i need help what should i do its breaking my heart! :(

 
butterscotch297

Asked by butterscotch297 at 7:51 PM on Nov. 10, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (3)
  • My MIL is the exact same way with my son. It breaks my husband's heart, because his mom just doesn't care to see her grandson. She always says she is coming (after he calls & BEGS her to come), but never shows. I know how upsetting this has to be for you, especially since there is no other grandma to make up for your mom's lack of involvement, but you really can't "make" her care. Keep kindly inviting her over, sending her pictures of your daughter, and calling to give her "updates" on the new things she is doing, etc. As long as you make sure she knows that she is welcome to come see her grandchild and that you want her to do so, there's really nothing more you can do. I'm so sorry--- I wish that I had an "easy" button to fix it for you, but sometimes people do really dumb things... She will regret this someday, but you probably can't convince her of that now.
    heather.huckaby

    Answer by heather.huckaby at 8:57 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • Don't force her to be in your childs life. I know it's heart breaking and sad but why make someone be in your childs life that doesn't want to be there? Personally I feel that by forcing your mom into her life that she is going to learn what half assed love or affection is and that is much worse then having no grandmother at all. You're mom is wrong for not wanting to be there , but it's her right to chose not to be.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 8:09 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • It may break your heart that your mom doesn't seem to want anything to do with your child, but you can't force her to be a part of the kid's life. She has to want to do it herself, or the effort will be fake, and your child will know the difference. Children are amazing, and many many kids go through their entire life without knowing or associating with their grandparents. Focus more on the other people who are a part of your child's life by choice.. she will always find the sincere relationships much more important and satisfying than those that exist merely because of a feeling of obligation. And don't worry, when your daughter grows up to be this amazing woman, your mom will regret every time she drove by your house and didn't stop to say good afternoon to her granddaughter.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 8:13 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

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