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Is it possible to be in a healthy relationship with someone who is having problems with the mother of his child who is abusive and alcoholic?

I'm in a relationship with a man who has a young son. I love him very much and his family and son but the ex wife is abusive and doing everything she can to sabotage his relationship with me. She called me a sl*t just when she first learned he had someone in his life. Then she turned around and says things like "she's really nice" or "she's really pretty" and even sent us a Christmas card. Then she started saying nasty things again and texting him late at night when she is drunk. I'm trying to stay strong and cope with the behavior without reacting or retaliating but it is really upsetting to me and the stress is taking a toll on me.. I am myself a survivor of an abusive relationship before and I feel overwhelmed when dealing with someone who doesn't act sane or respect boundaries. I have done alot of work to be healthy myself and I justwant to be positive for him and his son. Please help with advice if you have any.. thanks!!

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hopefullove

Asked by hopefullove at 9:13 PM on Dec. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Do not deal with her, let your husband. Refuse contact with her and attempt to ignore any gossip she speads. Just because you are involved with the father(and son) does not mean you have to deal w/ her if she is acting this way.

    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 9:17 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I think yall can make it my boyfriend had an ex girlfriend that was crazy too she kept calling saying she was getting a restraining order on him saying he was harrassisng her. saying she was going to kill my baby and claiming to be pregnant. Don't let her get to you just kill her with kindness. And everytime ur with hima and shes near give him a big kiss to let her know one monkey don't stop no show.
    Smiles0305

    Answer by Smiles0305 at 9:33 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • if you love him you can make it work, just remember your in a relationship with him not her! ignore her or kill her with kindness i think either will work! and stay positive!
    mom2eas

    Answer by mom2eas at 11:36 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • I wouldn't have anything to do with her. Let your husband deal with her instead. He should be worrying about the welfare of his child. If it was me, I would be sending CPS out there, or getting custody of my child.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:39 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Yes, it is possible. Just take it one day at a time. If you have proof of her abuse (especially if it's toward the boy), contact a lawyer and do what you can to get full custody.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 3:00 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

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