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omg help!!!! (long)

ok so thier is one other problem. my almost 4 year old is very mouthy and likes to back talk all the time. he also freaks out if he doesnt get his way. like this morning he was mad because he wanted to argue over whether his pants were the same or different. and i told him they were different and was trying to explain the differences but he freaked out before i could begin. them it just went on from there. he loves to get my shoes for me in the morning so i tried to distract him with asking him to go get them for me but he just sat there whining so my husband got them for me and them he freaked out worse cause he wanted to do it. same with his own shoes and jacket. i dont get it. so i finally picked him up and help him and told him it was ok and that next time he should get them if he wanted to do it himself. then it was fine. but he does that about everything like even the direction in the car he wants to go but of course he is not driving so he doesnt (agian) get his way and freaks out. and the tv and computer as well he wants to be in control over everything! help!!!!!!!!!!!!! we are about to go crazy and would to have a handle on it before our daughter is born. btw he was controling before i got pregnant it is just getting worse.


Asked by 19_klayton at 11:15 PM on Dec. 30, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • sounds like he is just wanting attention, when my 2 and 4 yr olds act that way i ignore them and tell them when they stop fussing then i will talk to them

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 11:18 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • not sure, i think it might be a stage? my son is almost 4 and we're almost going through the same thing. lately he has just been...*scream!* really there are no words. like i'll tell him to go do something, he says he doesn't want to do it. if it's not a big deal, i'm like ok, then i tell his sister to do it. (like pick something up and throw it in the trash or grab something for me, something little like that) as soon as she goes to do it, he FREAKS, runs over to her, grabs whatever it is and is like "NO! I'm gonna do it!" it's driving me NUTS!!

    Answer by armywife43 at 11:21 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • lmao it drives us nuts too. especially the wanting to be in charge of everything. does yours play with his toys by himself mine wotn play with his toys unless we are playing with him. i dont get it like maybe twice a week he will play by himself but the majority of the time he wants to know what we are doing and be right where we are. he even tries to be in the shower and bathroom with us. it drives us crazy. he will just walk in too! so we have to lock the door. he does the same thing with our bedroom. its hard to have any private time you know?

    Comment by 19_klayton (original poster) at 11:29 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • For one thing he sounds insecure since he won't play by himself. Is he hard to please or just picky? Sometimes when kids are in a routine and something different happens they start resisting something new. I didn't quite understand about the pants issue. When he doesn't want to cooperate, put him in time out, every time he comes out ask him if he's going to cooperate, if not, put him in time out again. He needs to find out that you don't always get what you want, I don't care how old you are. I don't know how long before your new baby will be here, but I would definitely try to fix this problem now before th baby is born.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:42 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • she is expected to be here the begining of march. i tried time outs he just screams for hours! like hours! and i live in an apartment. he is so loud that i can hear him all the way to the mail boxes which are pretty far away. and he is picky and hard to please. we have dinner issues as well cause he hardly ever wants what we give.

    Comment by 19_klayton (original poster) at 11:48 PM on Dec. 30, 2010

  • Ignore him. You need to get "hard core" for a few weeks. If he throws a temper tantrum, then you leave the room and ignore him if he follows you. If you are in the car and he throws a temper tantrum about which way you are going, turn around and go home and make him sit in time out. If you are in the grocery store and he starts throwing a fit, park your grocery basket at the customer service desk, excuse yourself from the store and take him home. If he throws a temper tantrum about what clothes to wear tell him, you have these two choices - if you don't choose one by the time I count to 3, then I'm taking away one of your choices.

    Most importantly do not give him any reaction. Keep your mood neutral. Give yourself a time-out if you want, but don't let him see you react. Keep moving in the direction you want to go, you are the boss, you are stronger than he is (and it's okay to tell him that).

    Answer by texassahm at 2:57 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • it's not all the's more when he's in one of his 'moods', or when he doesn't get what he wants. it's worse when he's tired. i try to make him take naps, but sometimes he doesn't take them, making him crabby in the evening. he plays with his own toys well by himself and will share with his sister. but like i said, he's fine unless he's tired, in a 'mood' or has to do something he doesn't want to do/doesn't get what he wants.

    Answer by armywife43 at 9:32 AM on Dec. 31, 2010