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I feel like a horrible mother!!

I am a single mom, my daughter and I live in my parents basement, but it works perfect because we have our own space, 3 bedrooms, kitchen, living room, den and a full bath. And it also works perfect, because it allows me to have the job that i have. I dont make alot of money, but I work 5am-130pm. Lately for some reason I have just been really tired, and I guess I've taken a few naps, and i end up falling asleep on the couch for about an hour. (my daughter is 6yrs old, so she just watches tv) but anyways, the other day my mom told me that my daughter said to her "i'm ok being with you" and my mom said "and im ok being with you"..then my daughter said "im not really ok with mom tho" and my mom said "why not?" and my daughter said "she sleeps to much"....holy crap, now i feel like the worst mother ever!!! i know its not true..i DID also have a cold when this happened, and i get sooooo drained when i have a cold, but still, it really hurts knowing thats what my own daughter thinks of me :( it makes me really sad.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:09 AM on Dec. 31, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • you are allowed to be tired and take naps. Unfortunately, this will not be the last time your sweet baby girl makes unknowingly makes you feel like a horrible parent. It is part of the self imposed guilt we have as single parents.

    I have two boys, 15 and 12 - divorced for 6 years raising them on my own. I often feel like a horrible parent for a reaction I had for something they did, or taking a nap, or not being the "classroom" parent.. Or if they do something wrong, I blame myself. I learn from them and myself each day. I listen to their complaints.. Rather than focusing on her saying you "sleep to much", she is saying that she misses you and would have rather been doing something else.

    It will happen, and unfortunately, this will not be the last time you have guilt or feel horrible.

    Answer by tway75 at 11:25 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • well that doesnt make you a horrible parent.... your human you might want to explain to her that your sick and in order for you to get better you have to sleep...

    Answer by newstepmom_2010 at 1:16 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • That is very sad, and would make me feel terrible too. But she's 6 years old, and she doesn't really understand that a body needs rest when it's fighting an illness. Maybe now that you're feeling better you can make it a point to spend more time with your daughter, and maybe bring it up casually sometime that you're very sorry you were so tired when you weren't feeling well.

    Answer by debbymichelle at 1:15 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • you need to set aside time for your daughter... make it a weekly thing.. like go to the park once a week or bake cookies.... It will be good for the both of you, and who knows, maybe she will pass the tradition on to her kids

    Answer by FITmama2B at 1:18 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • I was a single mother with 3 sons and I know how difficult it is. You can't just go to sleep even if you live in your parents basement. The tv isn't a baby sitter. Don't lay down if you can't stay awake. If you have to sleep hire someone to watch your daughter. It doesn't mean you are a horrible mother but you are making irresponsible choices. If you aren't watching your child, you have to make sure someone else is.

    Answer by Gailll at 1:18 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Your mother should have explained to her that you work to give her a good life and that you need to sleep, just like she needs to sleep

    Answer by JLS2388 at 1:20 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Ignore Gailll, shes one of those moms who came from the heavens to raise angels. (sarcasm)

    Explain to her that you were sick, and make it a point to do something special with her when you have a moment. you are not a terrible mother

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • I agree with anonymous, Gaill is a horrible person... just go to her profile and read all the comments people leave her... she is RUDE and a terrible example

    Answer by FITmama2B at 1:30 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Your daughter sounds manipulative. At 6, she can watch tv while you're napping on the couch, play on the floor beside you, whatever. It's not like you were in some deep REM sleep. Do not feel guilty. If you are tired, not feeling well, what ever and want to nap and your daughter is going to try to use it to pit you and your mom against one another, just explain to your mom you need to rest and will she watch your kid. Also, ignore Gailll. Supermoms need not respond with their high and mighty "I'm better than you" answers.

    Answer by etown2reds at 1:32 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • I'm sure it made you feel bad but you aren't doing anything wrong. At 6 she is perfectly capable of entertaining herself while you take a nap and if she can't then you have other issues to deal with and she should be able to understand you are tired and not feeling well.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:14 AM on Dec. 31, 2010