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how do you deal if your inlaws are friends with "The other Woman"?

I worked it out with my husband, but I am not sure how i feel about having her so close to our lives. they dated back in high school , he cheated on my last year with her and his sisters know her and some are still friends with her.. I kinda feel like she will always be their lurking in the back ground ... arrrh


Asked by Anonymous at 9:09 AM on Dec. 31, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Treat her like any other x gf who got close to the family. I would talk directly to her and ask her what her intentions are by remaining friends with the family. If she's sitting there waiting for him to come back then I'd be asking him to set her straight.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:48 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Do your in-laws know he cheated on you with her last year? If the answer is yes, they are being very rude toward you. If they did not know you can't really be angry with them since they do not know. I can understand why it bothers you whether they know or not.

    Answer by zebbiebug at 9:18 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Honestly I don't think I could do it.. I just couldn't continue a relationship with people who are acting as if what this woman did is acceptable. Yes, most of the blame IS on your husband.. but this woman knew what the heck she was doing too and is a home wrecker in my book. Shows a lot about her character and your in laws character for continuing to be so buddy buddy with her after she almost ruined your marriage.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 9:20 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • It seems pretty tacky to me that she would still be a part of your life. I wouldn't hang out with his family members who were keeping her around.

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:11 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • I'm sorta in the same situation. My dh and his ex had a kid 5 years ago, so I know she will always be in the background. I know that I have to accept that too. I just feel that she is part of the family than I am and Dh and I have known each other much longer. Its frustrating and annoying.

    Answer by soon2bmmy at 9:15 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • I couldn't be around them much if at all..

    Answer by tnmomofive at 9:27 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • I'd be going to her and telling her to make her self scarce.  It's inappropriate for her to be hanging around.  I've dealt with a similar situation and there was a mutual friendship among her and her parents and my dh's parents.  I actually uprooted my family and moved to another state to kinda get away from it all. 


    Answer by luvmygrlz at 10:10 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • If they weren't married before I'd be telling her to back off and I am not sure frankly that I could be around people that still kept in contact with her. If they were married I would hold my head high and know that I had him but since he cheated with her I don't know how I would handle that situation other then trying to keep myself and dh away from her. What kind of connection does he have with her?

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 10:18 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • If she was around before and friends before Im not sure you can ask people to just not be friends with her because your husband also contributed to the situation. I think he needs to be the one to "fix" this entirely. He should be the one to tell family it bothers you and rightly so.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:20 AM on Dec. 31, 2010

  • Tell your husband that you want her out of your lives for good. He should be the one to put an end to the relationship; he's the one who cheated. He should also go to his family and be open and honest with them about what he did and how you feel about it. If he really loves you, he will ask his family to keep their relationship at bay. You can't stop them from being friends wih her, but I definitely would stay away from them; if they respect and love you, this would go without saying. If he refuses to speak to her and his family out of respect and love for you, he's not fully committed to working things out, therefore, I would take matters in my own hands and give him, her, and his family an ultimatum. I agree with 5BabyBees- she should be out of sight, out of mind for good.

    Answer by rosiemendo at 1:13 PM on Dec. 31, 2010